Descent, Parts One - Four
by Boo1
Summary: Buffy learns more about the creatures she hunts. A lot more.
1. Default Chapter Title

Title: Descent  
Category: Drama  
Rated: PG-13 (There is a lot of discussion about Willow's relationship with Tara so if you have a problem with that you might want to pass on this one.)  
Spoilers: None, I'm making this stuff up.  
Summary: Buffy learns more about the creatures she hunts. A lot more. Takes place during the summer between Freshman and Sophomore year of college.  
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns everything associated with BTVS, up to and including the posters on the wall.  
Feedback: As always, love to hear it. Come on, say something!  
  
PART ONE  
  
"Oh, I give up. She could be anywhere by now."  
  
Xander leaned against the brick wall behind him and looked at his watch.  
  
"Less than an hour before sunrise," he said out loud, shaking his head. Xander's cheeks puffed out as he slowly exhaled. Then he heard something, further down in the alley. It sounded like...like someone crying. He drew the cross from his back pocket and walked towards the noise.  
  
Giving the dumpster on his left a wide berth, Xander continued walking down the alley. He saw her sitting on the ground in the shadows along the wall, just past the dumpster. Her knees were drawn up and her hands covered her face.   
  
"Buffy, is that you?"  
  
The girl didn't look up. She cried even louder. Xander took another step towards her.  
  
"Xander, please...I don't want you to see me like this. Please, just...just go."  
  
"I don't care what you look like. I just want to help. We all do."  
  
"Well, you can start by putting that cross away!"  
  
"Oh! Sorry, I...sorry," said Xander, putting the cross into his back pocket. He took two more steps and knelt down besides Buffy. She wiped her eyes but wouldn't face him.  
  
"Buffy, what are you doing here? We were so worried about you."  
  
"I, I don't know. I was walking and, and I heard a noise. By the dumpster. And...and suddenly the thought of eating a rat didn't disgust me anymore! I mean, if Angel..."  
  
Buffy started crying again and covered her face with one arm. Xander leaned over to touch her shoulder and saw the dead rat on the ground next to her, its head at an odd angle to the body.  
  
"It's not...I couldn't bite into it. I...God, what's happening to me? Why is this happening?"  
  
"Buffy, let me take you home."  
  
"Home? I can't go home! Not like this," yelled Buffy, looking at Xander for the first time. He looked into her yellow, feral eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks. And he had to shut his eyes to remember that this was his friend. Opening his eyes, trying not to stare at her raised upper lip, Xander knew he had to take charge and help her.  
  
Xander simply stood up and extended his hand. Buffy closed her eyes and let him pull her to her feet. She immediately hugged him, hiding her face in his chest.  
  
"Buffy, Giles will figure this out. You know he will. That's what he does."  
  
Xander hugged her a little tighter and felt Buffy's body stiffen in response. She slowly pulled her head back and looked up at him.  
  
"You're a good friend, Xander."  
  
Xander smiled.  
  
"You...you would probably do anything for me. If I asked, I mean," smiled Buffy.  
  
"Sure," nodded Xander.   
  
Buffy brought her face closer to his and lowered her voice to a whisper.  
  
"Remember how we danced that time...in the Bronze?," asked Buffy, her voice like a breath.  
  
"Uh..."  
  
"Sure you do," said Buffy softly, running a finger down Xander's cheek, pausing near his chin and then slowly moving it down his neck.  
  
"Uh...what, what about it?," asked Xander nervously, stepping back so that his body was now pressed against the wall behind them.  
  
"Well, I never apologized. For leading you on like that, I mean. For leaving things so...unresolved," smiled Buffy, placing both hands on his shoulders.  
  
"Yeah. Uh, it...Buffy, it doesn't matter. Now, I mean. Because, because I liked it so...so it wasn't, uh...I mean, who wouldn't? You know, it's going to be light soon. We have to get you inside. Okay?," pleaded Xander.  
  
"Oh, we've got plenty of time, Xander. Plenty of time," said Buffy, no longer whispering. She pressed her hips up against him. "You wanted me then, didn't you? In fact, I was all you could think about. For a long time, if I remember."  
  
Xander's eyes opened wide as Buffy pushed him even harder against the wall.  
  
"Do you...do you still want me, Xander? 'Cause I'm suddenly finding you irresistible," said Buffy, whispering again. She ran her tongue along his neck and suddenly grabbed his head with both hands. Buffy brought her lips up to his.  
  
"Kiss me, Xander. You know you want to."  
  
"No. Buffy, this isn't you! You're not yourself. Buffy, please!"  
  
Buffy pulled Xander's head to one side, exposing his neck. She moaned and felt his body tense beneath her. He tried to struggle free but she was too strong for him.   
  
"Don't," warned Buffy, sensing that Xander was going to reach behind him for his cross. "Just because I can't see it doesn't mean I don't know you're packing. Even in your pocket I can feel it burn my skin."  
  
She grabbed his wrist, smiling, and slammed his arm up against the wall, holding it there. Buffy placed her lips on his, gently at first and then harder as her desire grew. As terrified as he was Xander found himself responding, returning her kiss. Buffy withdrew her mouth, running her tongue over his lips as she did.  
  
"Mmm, that's better," panted Buffy. "Your heart is beating faster...I can...I can hear it."  
  
She looked at him. He stared back, sweat beading on his forehead, his breath quick and loud in the silence between them.  
  
"Buffy...please don't..."  
  
Buffy put a finger over his lips.  
  
"Shh. It's me, Xander. I wouldn't hurt you. We're both anticipating something here, aren't we? Although I think you have something else in mind," she added with a smile.   
  
She withdrew her finger and kissed him again. The scent of his fear made her kiss him harder. Buffy slid her mouth down to his neck. Xander mumbled something but she no longer heard him. Her eyes rolled back into her head, shark-like, as she gently pressed her mouth against the pulse in his neck. Buffy let her mouth linger there, the heat from Xander's body intoxicating to her.  
  
Buffy pressed her teeth a little harder against him. Xander moaned but it wasn't a cry of pain. He even pulled her closer to him with his left arm. Moving in slow circles her tongue teased his skin. Xander gasped as Buffy's fangs pierced his neck...  
  
*****  
  
Three days earlier...  
  
"Blessed be, Willow. Can I help you find something?"  
  
"Evening, Sarah. Just looking, really. Anything new come into the shop lately?"  
  
"Oh, just the usual. You know, raven's feather, bloodroot. Nothing out of the ordinary. Thinking of doing a spell?"  
  
"Nope. Spell free lately. Kinda in research mode right now. Tara and I wanted to try something different and we're not sure what yet and that didn't come out the way I wanted it to," said Willow, wrinkling her nose.  
  
"I know what you meant," smiled Sarah as she reached behind the counter where she stood. "Here, take a look at this."  
  
Sarah handed Willow a thin, leather bound book. She opened the tome and saw that the pages were yellowed and brittle that but the writing was in English, the lettering beautifully printed by a quill pen.  
  
"It's not old as far as magick books go, but one advantage is that it is written in English. No making a mistake because of a bad translation," added Sarah.  
  
"Yeah, I can make plenty of those even knowing the words," laughed Willow.  
  
"My source tells me it's from early eighteenth century New England. Seems to be part spell book and part diary, although I've only thumbed through the pages so far."  
  
"Oh, this is nice!," commented Willow in awe as she carefully turned the pages. "Even has a drawing or two. And if Tara didn't like this I'm sure Giles would. I'm afraid to ask how much," said Willow, glancing up from the book.  
  
"Willow, you're one of my best customers. And I like you, too. I can let you have it for fifty."  
  
Willow nodded but sighed.  
  
"I can get twice that here in the shop," said Sarah.  
  
"Oh, it's not the price. You're being very fair. It's just, well, I only brought forty dollars with me."  
  
"So? You can pay me next time you're in. I'll tell you what...why don't you take the book home and think about it? If you don't like it you can return it."  
  
"Thanks, Sarah. And who are ya kidding here? You know I'm going to keep it," said Willow, handing the book back to Sarah.  
  
"Let me wrap it up for you," smiled Sarah.  
  
The bell on the front door jingled as a man entered the shop. Sarah glanced up at the clock on the wall. It was 8:45.  
  
"I'll be right with you. I do close in fifteen minutes," said Sarah.  
  
The man nodded and began to look around the place. Sarah handed Willow the book and she gave Sarah two twenties.  
  
"Thanks again," said Willow with a smile.  
  
"Have a good night, Willow."  
  
The bell on the door jingled again as Willow left, book under her arm.  
  
"Can I help you?," asked Sarah.  
  
"I hope you can. A, uh, friend of mine recently sold a collection of items to you. Over the weekend, I believe. There was, uh, a talisman or two, some paintings...but there was a book in the lot. A very old book. I'm afraid it was included by mistake. You see, it had been in the family for generations and had, well, sentimental value."  
  
"Oh dear. I'm afraid I just sold it!"  
  
*****  
  
Willow smiled, happy with her purchase. She smiled even more, anticipating Tara's reaction when she saw the book. She'd wait until the morning and surprise her when she woke up. And then Willow realized how quiet it was. And how dark. Even before she reached for her cross she remembered that she had left it home when she switched jackets. Nervously she began to walk faster.  
  
"How long have you lived in Sunnydale?," Willow asked herself. "And still you forget to bring a cross!," she added, hitting herself on the forehead with the palm of her hand.  
  
Willow stopped and snapped her head around. She had heard something behind her. But there was nothing there.  
  
"Just the wind," she whispered, even though there was no breeze tonight. She took another step and bumped into...Buffy!  
  
"Hey, Will. Walk much?"  
  
"Buffy! How...don't do that!"  
  
"Let me guess. You forgot to bring a cross. Again," smiled Buffy, trying to hide her concern from Willow.  
  
"Well, I...you see...oh, what's the use? Yeah, I did," admitted Willow.  
  
"Good thing I was patrolling. Come on, I'll walk you home," offered Buffy, putting her arm around her best friend. "You shouldn't worry your room mate like this."  
  
"Buffy, we're not room mates anymore."  
  
"I meant Tara."  
  
"Oh. Wait, so you're not worried about me?"  
  
"Willow!"  
  
"I know, I know. Just kidding. And about the room mate sitch, we, well we really never talked about it much. I can spend a night or two every so often at the dorm. When Riley's not over or you're not over at his place."  
  
"Yeah. I'd like that. In fact, why don't we make it a rule. Say, Tuesday and Thursday nights we both stay together at the dorm. Okay? I don't want us to drift apart like last year," said Buffy.  
  
"That'd be nice. Deal! Tuesday and Thursday belong to us," agreed Willow.  
  
"Not that Tara can't come over then," added Buffy quickly.  
  
"Or Riley. They just can't spend the night," said Willow.  
  
"So what did you tell you're parents about Tara? Uh, the staying over at her apartment this summer, I mean," corrected Buffy.  
  
"Oh, I sleep at home every now and then. You know my mom, she doesn't seem to care what I do. I told her that Tara and I are friends, that we have classes together and I sleep over there because why should I come all the way home when it's late at night? Told her it was safer. I think she heard me. She may have nodded," explained Willow.  
  
"Just friends? You haven't..."  
  
"Oh, no. I haven't. Not ready for that yet," said Willow, shaking her head. "Big no to the big talk."  
  
Buffy smiled and gave Willow's shoulder a squeeze before letting go.  
  
"And what about the Buffy, Riley, Mom triangle at your house? What does your mom think about you two practically living together?," asked Willow.  
  
"She's okay with it. I think. I hope. I spend a night or two at home, but she knows I'm staying at Riley's apartment this summer. Mostly she avoids the subject like I avoid cleaning my room. And as far as this fall goes, she thinks you and I are still room mates. Room mates who share one big, empty dorm room. I mean, with you staying with Tara and me at Riley's," added Buffy.  
  
"Yep, gotta keep up those pretenses. Guess it's safer for all involved that way," said Willow.  
  
"Don't think of it that way, Will. It's...well, just part of growing up, I guess."  
  
"Yeah. Oh, hey! Lookie at what I got for Tara," said Willow, holding up the package she was carrying.  
  
"Wow. A brown bag. She'll love it. Bet she doesn't have one of those!," smiled Buffy.  
  
"No, silly! It's a book. A really old book, with spells and drawings and, and all sorts of neat stuff."  
  
Buffy smiled and looked away.  
  
"What? You don't think she'll like?," asked Willow.  
  
"I'm sorry. No, I'm sure she'll love it. Just a little jealous, I guess."  
  
"Huh? You wanted a spell book too?," asked Willow, confused.  
  
"No, no. See, you're in that everything's new phase. Looking at the other person when you don't think he, or she, is looking which of course he, and she, are. Thinking about them instead of paying attention to the teacher's lecture. Well, maybe you don't do that. Buying each other presents. It's...cute. Not that I'm complaining. Okay, maybe I am just a little," said Buffy.  
  
"Riley doesn't buy you presents?"   
  
"Uh, sure he does. Sometimes. And I guess I'm guilty of that too. The not buying part. But things are going great. Really. It's just, well, you're floating on air and I'm a little more grounded."  
  
Both Willow and Buffy were knocked to the ground as a man crashed into them. And he never stopped running.  
  
"Hey!," yelled Buffy even before Willow could react. "That's not what I meant by grounded."  
  
"Buffy, he took my book!," cried Willow.  
  
"Not for long," answered Buffy, getting to her feet. He didn't have much of a head start and Buffy knew she could catch him. Less than a minute later she was right.  
  
Buffy stood at the end of an alley. And since this was her home turf, she knew it was a dead end. She smiled and shook her head.  
  
"You know, it would have been so much easier for you if you just had a library card."  
  
The man twisted his head back, looking at Buffy over his shoulder. He had just realized that the only way out was past this girl. He turned and faced her, one hand clutching the book tightly to his chest.  
  
"You have got to be kidding me," said Buffy, rolling her eyes.   
  
"Look, I don't want any trouble. So if you'll just get out of my way, I'll be out of your life," he said, taking a step towards Buffy.  
  
"At least I have a life. You must be new in town. Just passing through?," asked Buffy, reaching behind her to withdraw a stake.  
  
"Uh, actually I am. How did you..."  
  
He stopped walking towards Buffy when he saw the stake she was holding in front of her now. Buffy heard Willow at the end of the alley behind her.  
  
"And speaking of passing through," said Buffy, smiling and pointing the end of the stake at him.  
  
"You must be the Slayer."  
  
"Good guess! I'd say you were smart, but then again you came to my town, knowing I was here."  
  
Buffy took a step towards him and he backed away, still clutching the book tightly.  
  
"You don't understand. See, there's been some kind of mistake. I'm...I'm not supposed to be a vampire."  
  
"Well, we don't always get to choose want we want to be in life, or unlife, do we? I know I didn't," shrugged Buffy.  
  
"No, I...I was never bitten by a vampire, I swear. This is some kind of curse. It, it wasn't meant to be."  
  
Buffy kept walking slowly towards him and he kept backing up.  
  
"That's a new one. Bonus points for creativity. Of course, I've never heard of any other way to become what you are so sorry, I don't believe you. Nice try, though," smiled Buffy.  
  
"Please, I don't want to hurt you!"  
  
"Oh, like you could? Please!"  
  
"No, I know you'll kill me. But I will have to fight back. And you might get hurt," he said, more concern than fear in his voice. Buffy stopped walking.  
  
"Now why would you care about that?," asked Buffy.  
  
"Because I'm telling you the truth! I don't want to be like this! It's not fair, there's been a mistake," he said sadly.  
  
"Buffy, he was in Sarah's shop when I was there," called out Willow.  
  
Buffy glanced over her shoulder to see how close Willow was to them. And that's when the vampire decided to run. He pushed against Buffy with the book but failed to knock her down. She simply stuck out a foot and tripped him, pushing him as he fell so that he landed on his back. The book flew from his hands.  
  
"You know, you've been a great contestant. But you lost. So how about a nice parting gift?," quipped Buffy, driving the stake deep into his chest. She sat back on her heels to watch him die. He cried out in pain. But nothing happened.  
  
"Uh, Buffy? Where's the poof? What's up with the lack of poof?," asked Willow.  
  
"Willow, I didn't miss his heart. Oh my God, you can't be human!"  
  
"Slayer, I...I tried to warn...you," said the vampire, gasping as if trying to breath between words. He grasped the stake with both hands but didn't try to pull it out.  
  
"Remember that. I, I...tried to...I'm sorry...it's gone...it's finally gone!," he yelled, laughing. He tilted his head and stared at Buffy. Suddenly he exploded into ash. And Buffy's eyes grew wide as she stared at what lay on the ground.  
  
The vampire's skeleton and clothes remained. The stake was firmly wedged between two ribs, visible through a rip in his shirt. Buffy scrambled back away from the corpse, not stopping until she bumped into Willow's legs. She put a hand on Buffy's shoulder.  
  
"Buffy, what the hell is that!?"  
  
"I don't know. Will, go call Giles. He needs to see this. No, wait! I don't want you to go alone."  
  
Buffy knelt beside the skeleton and pulled her stake free. A moment later the skeleton exploded into ash. Only the clothes remained.  
  
"Aw, now come on! This is just plain weird!," complained Buffy.  
  
"Yep. Even by Sunnydale standards," agreed Willow. She bent down and picked up her book.  
  
"Let's go. I feel a major wiggins coming on. We'll tell Giles in the morning. I suddenly need to take a shower. Can't be running to him every time...well, okay, I guess I can. But I just need to sort this out first," frowned Buffy.  
  
Willow nodded and they walked out of the alley.  
  
End Of Part One  
  
PART TWO  
  
Tara stretched and blinked her eyes open. And saw Willow, her head propped up by an elbow and smiling back at her.  
  
"Morning, sleepy head," said Willow, leaning over to give Tara a quick kiss.  
  
"Morning. Been up long?"  
  
"No, not really. Oh, okay, almost an hour," admitted Willow. "I've just...been watching you sleep."  
  
Tara smiled. Then she frowned.  
  
"I didn't keep you up, did I?," asked Tara.  
  
"Oh, no. Well, maybe once or twice last night."  
  
"Huh?"   
"I was cold. Someone is a blankey hog," teased Willow.  
  
"Oh. Sorry," said Tara, her mouth in a half frown.  
  
"No big. A little snuggling and I wasn't cold for long. Oh! I got you a present," said Willow, rolling over and reaching under the bed. She handed Tara the package.  
  
"Sorry 'bout the paper being a little ripped. I, uh, dropped it," explained Willow.  
  
"Willow, I..."  
  
"Oh, just open it."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
Tara excitedly tore the paper off the book as if she were a little girl again and it was her birthday.  
  
"Oh, wow," said Tara, turning the book over in her hands. "This looks old. Where'd you get it?"  
  
"At Sarah's."  
  
Tara opened the leather bound cover. And immediately threw the book to one side as if she had been touched by an electric shock.  
  
"Tara! What...what is it? What's wrong?"  
  
"I don't know. It's...it's like a chill ran through me when I opened the book."  
  
"But I already looked at it. Nothing happened to me!," said Willow.  
  
The two girls looked at one another. Willow tentatively reached over and touched the book, then picked it up. She glanced at Tara and then opened it. Nothing happened. Tara slowly reached over and placed her hand on the yellow parchment. She looked at Willow and shrugged.  
  
"Giles," said Willow.  
  
"Giles," agreed Tara, nodding.  
  
*****  
  
Buffy stretched and blinked her eyes open.  
  
"Morning, sleepyhead," said Riley, leaning over to give her a quick kiss. "Didn't think you'd ever get up."  
  
Buffy smiled.  
  
"Yeah, I'm beat. Guess I didn't sleep good last night."  
  
"I didn't notice."  
  
"Riley, you wouldn't notice if a train came through here when you were sleeping."  
  
"Well, at least I don't snore," replied Riley. "I don't, do I?"  
  
Buffy raised her eyebrows and looked at him innocently.  
  
"Oh. Did I keep you up?," he asked.  
  
"No," answered Buffy, rubbing her eyes. "And you don't snore. Too loudly."  
  
Riley shook his head and hit Buffy over the head with his pillow. He got up and pulled up the shade.  
  
"Yikes, it's bright out!," complained Buffy, squinting her eyes.  
  
"Yes, it's a beautiful morning," said Riley, turning back to face her. "What's wrong? Headache?"  
  
Buffy nodded.  
  
"Could you get me some aspirin. Maybe eight?"  
  
Riley hesitated.  
  
"Only kidding!"  
  
"Sure. Be right back," smiled Riley.  
  
Buffy lay back down and closed her eyes.  
  
*****  
  
They walked four across, Buffy in the middle with Riley to her right, Willow next to Buffy with Tara to her left. Buffy and Riley were holding hands. Willow noticed and slipped her hand around Tara's, giving her a quick smile. Tara seemed surprised but gave Willow's hand a little squeeze of approval.  
  
"New look, Buffy?," asked Willow. Buffy was wearing sunglasses under a baseball cap. She had a ponytail pulled through the back of the cap. "Uh, not that you don't have it working for you, girl," she added with a smile to imply it was meant as a compliment.  
  
"It's okay, Will. And thanks. I'm...I just have a headache. The sun, it's kinda making it worse."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Buffy knocked on the door and Willow let go of Tara's hand. She was still uncomfortable displaying affection towards Tara in front of Giles. Tara glanced at Willow but she wasn't looking in her direction and she wondered if Willow was deliberately not looking at her. Giles opened the door.  
  
"Good morning. Come on in. Xander and Anya are already here," said Giles.  
  
Everyone got settled in on chairs around the living room. Giles set a tray of tea and coffee on the table for anyone who wanted it.  
  
"So Buffy, tell me more about this vampire you encountered last night. I believe on the phone you used the word 'wigged' twice in one sentence," said Giles, sipping his tea.  
  
"Giles, if I could have worked it in three times I would have. After I staked him there was the usual poofy exit. But his skeleton remained. Kinda like the Master," added Buffy, frowning and looking down at her hands.  
  
"Excuse me for interrupting but are you feeling well? You haven't taken off your sunglasses," said Giles.  
  
"Oh, sure, I'm fine. Just a headache. And it seems bright in here," answered Buffy.  
  
"Oh. Would you like me to pull the shades down?," asked Giles.  
  
"No. Really, I'm okay."  
  
"Alright, uh, please continue," said Giles.  
  
"Well, when I pulled the stake out of his ribs the skeleton poofed but not his clothes."  
  
"Fascinating," commented Giles. "Did you learn anything from your banter phase with him?"  
  
"My banter phase?"  
  
"Yeah, you know, Buffy. Like a cat playing with a toy. You tease him, smack him around a little without your claws out and then...pounce! He's kitty litter!," said Xander.  
  
"I'd call it Slayer foreplay," interjected Anya.  
  
Everyone looked at her without speaking.  
  
"What? We know how horny you get after a kill. Remember?," asked Anya.  
  
Everyone still stared at Anya.  
  
"Uh, and hungry," added Anya with a smile.  
  
Riley stopped looking at Anya and stared at Buffy.  
  
"Um, foreplay involves smacking around?," asked Willow.  
  
"Yes, banter. Banter I did, did I," said Buffy, trying to change the subject.  
  
"Better believe it. She had her punning working, she did," said Willow.  
  
"We are talking like Dr. Seuss, we are?," asked Tara, smiling.   
  
Willow glared at her and Tara covered her mouth with her hand to keep from laughing.  
  
"Uh, he was a little more whiny than your average vamp. Kept saying that it was a mistake, that it wasn't meant to be. Claimed he was never bitten by a vampire, that it must've been a curse. He...he did say that he didn't want to be that way. Oh, and that he wasn't from our neck of the woods. Where exactly is the neck of the woods? There's no head of the woods. You have your head of the class but no neck of the class. That's going to bug me now," sighed Buffy.  
  
"Uh, Buffy...," began Giles.  
  
"Right. Where was I? Oh, he didn't want to fight me."  
  
"Of course not. He knew who you were," said Riley.  
  
"No, it wasn't that. He knew I would kill him. But he was afraid that if we fought I might get hurt. Giles, could...could he have had a soul? Is that possible? I mean, I didn't pick up on him being dead and all right away and that kinda has me wigged too."  
  
"I don't see how," answered Giles, putting his cup of tea down. "I've never heard of someone being cursed and becoming a vampire. Oh, I'll do the research, of course. But, except for Angel, a vampire with a soul? Not very likely, I'm afraid. And even Angel was dead and then had his soul restored."  
  
"Yeah, I sorta knew that one," said Buffy, avoiding eye contact with Riley.  
  
"You did say you weren't feeling well, Buffy. Maybe that's why you didn't realize he was a vampire," suggested Giles.  
  
"Maybe. But it wasn't until this morning that I wasn't feeling good."  
  
"A cold would affect you being able to sense them?," asked Riley.  
  
"Uh, I don't know, actually. Giles?"  
  
"It may. But I'm not positive, either. Did this vampire say anything else?"  
  
"Uh, lets see. Just before he died he told me to remember that he tried to warn me. Then he said something about it being finally gone. Yeah, in fact he repeated that," said Buffy.  
  
"Maybe he was in pain," offered Xander.  
  
"Maybe," shrugged Buffy. "And that's another thing. His face never changed. I mean, even Angel, if he was in pain, couldn't control that. The demon would surface. Then, poof!"  
  
"Is that when you got horny?," asked Anya.  
  
"Anya!," yelled Xander.  
  
"Sorry. Just doing the research, like you guys do," said Anya.  
  
"Huh?," said Xander.  
  
Anya lowered her voice to a whisper. "I thought we could pretend that I was a Slayer and you were a big, bad vampire," she added with a smile.  
  
"Do you ever come up for air?," asked Xander.  
  
"Oh, Buffy! Don't forget about the book," said Willow.  
  
"The book?," asked Giles.  
  
"Oh, yeah. This vamp tried to steal a book that Willow had just bought at Sarah's Magic Shop," said Buffy. Willow reached under the chair she was sitting on and handed the book to Giles.  
  
"He was in there just before I left. Sarah said that this was part diary, part spellbook. And that it was from early eighteenth century New England," said Willow.  
  
Giles opened the book and turned a page or two.  
  
"What would a vampire want with a book of spells?," asked Xander.  
  
"Do many vampires delve into magic?," asked Riley.  
  
"No, it's rare. Maybe even unheard of. Never actually thought about that. Guess I should be grateful," said Buffy.  
  
"It's the whole lack of soul deal," said Tara.  
  
"Huh?," said Buffy.  
  
"It's a lot harder to cast spells successfully without a soul, even, ironically, the black arts. Not impossible, of course," explained Tara.  
  
"Oh yeah. You can lose your soul with the black arts," said Anya.  
  
"Hence the ironic," agreed Willow.  
  
"Not that I...oh, never mind," said Anya, forcing a smile.  
  
"Love that hobby of yours, Will," said Xander, glancing at Anya.  
  
"Oh, and Giles, when Tara opened the book she felt something like a chill run through her. It didn't happen when I looked at it," added Willow.  
  
"Really?," said Giles, momentarily looking up from his reading. "Tara, do you believe the book to be cursed?"  
  
"I don't know. Maybe. But I haven't had that feeling since, and I did look at it again."  
  
"Hmm. Could I borrow this for a while? I'd like to see if there is anything in here that may have interested this vampire," said Giles.  
  
"Sure. Keep it for a spell," smiled Willow. No one said anything and only Buffy smiled.  
  
"Get it? A spell?," asked Willow.  
  
Giles looked at her over the rim of his glasses.  
  
"Sorry," pouted Willow, slumping down lower into her chair.  
  
"And hey, sorry to run, but Riley's offered to take me to lunch. And suddenly I'm starving," announced Buffy as she stood up. "Why don't we meet back here later today?"  
  
"Yes. That's a good idea. Uh, Willow, perhaps you should go speak with Sarah, see if she talked with this vampire. It might be helpful," said Giles.  
  
"Sure thing. Tara and I don't mind spending time in a magic shop, do we?," asked Willow, looking at Tara with a smile.  
  
"Sounds like fun," agreed Tara.  
  
"And I'll...have lunch with Anya," said Xander, realizing he probably wasn't needed. Again.  
  
"Great!," said Anya excitedly. "But let's go somewhere where they don't serve fries, okay?"  
  
Xander looked at her with a puzzled look and Anya knew he was stumped.  
  
"Oh, I get it! You want pizza," said Xander.  
  
Anya shook her head and sighed.  
  
*****  
  
"So, did you ask Buffy about the party yet?," asked Tara.  
  
"Uh, no. Not yet."  
  
"Willow, the party is in two days! Don't you want her to be there?"  
  
"Of course I do! She's my best friend. She should be there," said Willow. "Xander too."  
  
"Trying to convince yourself?," asked Tara.  
  
"What? No, of course not."  
  
They walked for awhile without speaking.  
  
"Well, at least you have someone to ask," complained Tara.  
  
"Tara, you have friends! Come on now, we've been over this. Besides, you have me," smiled Willow. Tara smiled and reached for her hand. Willow looked down as if she were surprised but took Tara's hand and gave it a squeeze.  
  
"Still a little uncomfortable about holding hands in public?," asked Tara, not looking at Willow.  
  
"No. It's just...well, even when I was with Oz I wasn't big into public displays. You're not the only one who's shy, ya know."  
  
"It's not for display, Willow. It's just...natural. It feels right."  
  
"You're right. And I'm sorry. About the party, too. I'll talk to Buffy later. When we go back to Giles. Okay?"  
  
Tara nodded and smiled. They had reached Sarah's shop. Willow put her hand on the handle of the door and turned to Tara.  
  
"I'm letting go now. It doesn't mean anything. Besides, you know Sarah's cool with us," said Willow.  
  
"Just get inside," teased Tara, her hands on her hips. Willow smiled and pushed open the door.  
  
"Blessed be, Willow. Blessed be, Tara. And good morning," said Sarah.  
  
"Good morning, Sarah," said Willow.  
  
"Blessed be, Sarah," added Tara. They were the only ones in the shop.  
  
"Willow did you like the...uh, the things you bought for that spell you were working on?," asked Sarah.  
  
"The what? Oh, it's okay, Sarah. Tara saw the book."  
  
"Sorry. I wasn't sure if it was a present or not," explained Sarah.  
  
"It was. And actually, I wanted to ask you about that. See, after I left there was this man. And he tried to steal the book from me. I'm pretty sure he was in here just before I left. Did he say anything to you? About the book, I mean," said Willow.  
  
"Oh dear. He didn't hurt you, did he?," asked Sarah, very concerned.  
  
"No. He, uh, he left. Rather quickly, too. But he dropped the book."  
  
"That's good. There was something I didn't like about him. Knew it as soon as I set eyes on him, too. Yes, he was here. I had bought a couple of boxes from an estate sale over the weekend and the book was part of that. He claimed that it was from his family and that book was in there by mistake. Seemed very upset when I told him that I had just sold it."  
  
"Did he say what his name was?," asked Tara.  
  
"No. He asked if you had bought it and when I said yes he immediately ran from the store. I'm sorry about that. I had no idea that he might..."  
  
"Sarah, you had no idea he was...like that. Don't worry yourself about it. No one got hurt," said Willow.  
  
"Do you know where the book came from?," asked Tara.  
  
"I have a gentleman friend. He's retired and he drives around to tag sales and such. When he finds something of interest he buys it for me. I can ask him if you'd like," said Sarah.  
  
"Yes, that would be great. I'd like to find out more about the history of the book if I can," said Willow as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a ten dollar bill. "And I believe I owe you some more money," added Willow.  
  
"Oh no you don't. That book has caused you enough trouble already. Please, keep it."  
  
"Sarah, a deal is a deal," protested Willow.  
  
"No, I won't hear of it. Keep it. I insist."  
  
"Okay. And thanks," said Willow, suddenly smiling.  
  
"What?," asked Sarah.  
  
"So, you have a gentleman friend. Any details you'd like to share?," asked Willow, still smiling. "Uh, not small details but big picture details."  
  
"A lady does not discuss her conquests," said Sarah with a serious face. "Oh, all right. His name is Harry..."  
  
*****  
  
"Ready to order?," asked the waitress, pencil in hand and chomping on gum.  
  
"Yes, I think we are. I'll have the hamburger plate, with just lettuce and tomato."  
  
"And how would you like that done?," asked the waitress, trying not to look bored.  
  
"Rare," replied Buffy, lowering her sunglasses for a moment to look at her.  
  
"And you, sir?"  
  
Riley didn't say anything. He just sat there staring at Buffy.  
  
"Uh, Riley? Hello? You ready to order?," asked Buffy.  
  
"Um, sure. Yes, I'll have the grilled chicken salad with the house dressing. Buffy, you want a coke?"  
  
Buffy nodded. "Diet."  
  
"And two diet cokes. Thanks," said Riley as he handed his menu back to the waitress.  
  
"Living life dangerously ordering the house dressing," commented the waitress as she collected the menus. Riley gave her a confused look.  
  
"Just kidding, doll," she smiled as she walked away.  
  
Now Riley turned his confused look to Buffy.  
  
"What?," she asked.  
  
"Buffy, you're not a big meat eater as it is. You ordered your hamburger rare?"  
  
"I know, I know. But, well, I was just in the mood for it. Come on, don't you get a craving for something every now and then?"  
  
"Every night," said Riley with a smile.  
  
"Tell me about it. Not going to be able to close the coffin lid on you when you go."  
  
"What?," asked Riley with a laugh.  
  
"Nothing. So, what do you think of this vamp that I ran into last night? The Initiative ever come across something like that?," asked Buffy, quickly changing the subject.  
  
"Uh, no, I don't think so. Probably would have heard about it if we had. But I'm sure Giles will find something in his research."  
  
"Yeah, that's what he does best. Still creeps me out thinking about it. The vamp, not Giles researching," explained Buffy.  
  
"I figured," nodded Riley. "You didn't wear your cross today. Why?"  
  
"I wanted to wear gold today. See?," asked Buffy, holding up her wrist. A gold bracelet dangled from it.  
  
"And...."  
  
"The cross is silver. It wouldn't match. Hence the gold rope chain around my neck?"  
  
"Oh. Sorry. It looks great on you, of course," said Riley, eliciting a smile from Buffy. "But I'm more comfortable knowing that you wearing a cross in your line of work."  
  
"Riley, it's daylight. You wearing yours?"  
  
"Yes, I am. You know I wear it for more reasons than just vampires."  
  
"I know. Let's not..."  
  
Riley looked away and Buffy suddenly became interested in the initials that were carved on the table top. She wondered who J. T. and S. P. were.  
  
"Riley, you were awfully quiet today. Something on your mind?"  
  
"No. Why?"  
  
"Just...wondering. So you were okay with Tara holding Willow's hand?," asked Buffy.  
  
"Didn't notice. Were they?"  
  
"Riley, I know you saw her. Saw them. Is it a problem?"  
  
"Buffy, we've talked about this. I don't have a problem with it. Okay?"  
  
"And why don't I believe you," asked Buffy.  
  
"Because I go to church? That's not fair. I don't judge," said Riley.  
  
"True. And we agree that people are, well, born the way they are. Can't choose the way you're wired."  
  
"Right."  
  
"Right," repeated Buffy. "But because Willow's had a boyfriend in the past you think she's making a choice. Like she could change her mind again," added Buffy.  
  
"Buffy, I..."  
  
Riley was interrupted by the ringing of his cell phone. He shrugged with a smile and reached into his pocket.  
  
"Saved by the bell," murmured Buffy.  
  
"Hello? Dad? Hi, how are you? What's that? Really."  
  
Riley gave Buffy a concerned look. She sat up straighter in her chair and mouthed the word 'what?'. Riley shook his head and held up one finger.  
  
"But she's okay? Yes, of course. Tonight. No, it's not a problem. At all. Dad, please. I can catch a flight in a few hours. Of course. I'll phone you as soon as I arrive. Yeah. Bye."  
  
"Riley, what's wrong?"  
  
"It's my mom. She's in the hospital. Chest pains. But the doctor says she's going to be fine. I'm going back there for a day or two. Just to be sure."  
  
"That's not even a question. Of course you should be there. Do you want me to come with you?," asked Buffy, reaching across the table and placing her hand on his.  
  
"No. But thanks. Mom's going to be fine. And you've got a lot going on here right now."  
  
"You sure? Maybe I should..."  
  
"Buffy, thanks. I know you're concerned. I'll only be gone a day or three. When you meet my folks I want it to be under better circumstances. Mom will want to make this big fuss over you and not rest for a moment. Believe me, I know her," smiled Riley.  
  
"Okay. But I want you to call. Twice a day," warned Buffy.  
  
"I promise," agreed Riley.  
  
The waitress walked over to their table and dropped their plates in front of them.  
  
"Be right back with the sodas," she said.  
  
"Great! I'm starved," said Buffy. She lifted up the bun and tossed the lettuce and tomato to the side. Grabbing the hamburger with both hands, she took a large bite out of it. Brownish-red juice ran down the side of her face and dripped onto the table.  
  
"Oh, this is so good," said Buffy as she chewed.  
  
Riley stared at her, not moving.  
  
"What?," asked Buffy, still chewing.  
  
"Uh..."  
  
Buffy ignored him and took another big bite. Juice ran down both sides of her mouth. Riley continued to stare at her as the waitress brought their sodas.  
  
*****  
  
Giles turned another page and shook his head.  
  
"Oh dear," he said out loud. He turned another page and read some more from Willow's book. And again he shook his head.  
  
End of Part Two  
  
PART THREE  
  
"Buffy, still with the glasses? How's the headache?," asked Xander.  
  
"Gone, actually. But I must be coming down with something. I'm freezing!," said Buffy, zipping up the jacket she was now wearing.  
  
"Really? It must be almost seventy five degrees in here," said Giles. He stood next to Buffy and put the back of his hand to her forehead.  
  
"You don't seem to have a fever. Any chills? Maybe you should see a doctor," suggested Giles, knowing even as he said it that Buffy would never agree to that.  
  
"No chills. I'm okay. I'll go take a nap later before I patrol. I'm just a little run down, is all," said Buffy.  
  
"Buffy, why not take a night off?," asked Willow.  
  
"Maybe. I'll see how I feel later."  
  
Willow frowned at Buffy's answer. If she was considering blowing off patrol then she must not be feeling well at all.  
  
"Riley left already?," asked Willow.  
  
"Yes, he managed to get a five o'clock flight."  
  
"Oh. Well, maybe we should patrol with you tonight. If you go, that is. Just to make sure you're okay."  
  
"Will, I'm fine. Really. I'm sorry I even brought it up. But thanks."  
  
Willow smiled and nodded.  
  
"So Giles, read any good books lately?," asked Buffy.  
  
"Well, I was going to start that new...oh, you mean...yes, of course. The book. Yes, I finished reading Willow's book. And it's rather disturbing, I might add."  
  
"Oh, good! Details, details," said Anya.  
  
Everyone looked at Anya.  
  
"I only meant that we should know more about that vampire Buffy met," explained Anya.  
  
Everyone nodded and looked back at Giles.  
  
"Whew, tough room," mumbled Anya.  
  
"Yes, the book. Apparently it did belong to a witch who lived in the New England region in the 1700s. Sadly, she seemed to be a rather nice person. At first."   
  
"Sadly? And the nice person part is not a good thing?," asked Xander.  
  
"In her efforts to help other people she decided to delve into the black arts. She underestimated what she would have to give up in order to learn...what she did," explained Giles.  
  
"Oh," said Willow, fully understanding what he meant.  
  
"Buffy, I do believe that this vampire you killed wanted the book. There is a spell, or for lack of a better word a curse, in there that describes what you encountered. We really don't understand how a demon enters a body and takes possession when a vampire turns a victim. And the victim is, of course, dead."  
  
"But that vampire last night wasn't?," asked Buffy.  
  
"You're catching on. No, I don't think it was. This witch stumbled upon a curse that would inflict the demon on a living person. In effect, the demon would fight for control of the body with that person's soul. Eventually it would win, and what is left is a vampire that is alive," finished Giles, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes.  
  
"Brings new meaning to the words 'living dead', doesn't it?," asked Anya.  
  
"That poor man!," said Willow.  
  
"Giles, I killed someone. Someone with a soul," said Buffy sadly.  
  
"Buffy, you ended that man's suffering. He was trapped inside that body, forced to watch whatever the demon did, as it killed, as it fed..."  
  
"Thanks for the visual. I get it. But this guy tried to warn me away. Why?," asked Buffy.  
  
"The host does have moments of control. For short periods of time, at least. This kind of possession may explain why his face didn't change. And...there's more," said Giles.  
  
"More?," repeated Buffy.  
  
"Yes. You may face this demon again," said Giles.  
  
"But I killed it. Okay, delayed poof, but it's gone. I saw it!"  
  
"The only way to kill this demon is for the host to turn another person into a vampire. The demon then goes into the dead body. I suppose it feels more comfortable there, not having to battle for control," shrugged Giles. "Then this vampire must be burned, not staked. Otherwise the demon escapes and wanders until it possesses another living body. So, as I said, you may face this thing again. Be prepared," warned Giles.  
  
"Giles, you expect me to beat the vampire unconscious and then set fire to it? And how am I supposed to do that?," asked Buffy, crossing her arms.  
  
"I, uh...oh, yes, I see your point," replied Giles.  
  
"Great! As if this job isn't hard enough," sighed Buffy.  
  
"Okay, I'm glad everyone is sitting down, 'cause I just had a thought," announced Xander. "Now don't look at me like a ravin' lunatic, but why not just inflict a little sunlight onto this new vamp? That should burn it."  
  
Giles hesitated but finally spoke.  
  
"Now why didn't I think of that? Xander Harris, the voice of reason. Oh dear."  
  
"No Christmas bonus for this Watcher this year," teased Buffy.  
  
"Guess it's true what they say about those blind squirrels finding a nut every so often," said Xander with a smile.  
  
"Yeah, after it digs up your entire front lawn looking for that nut," laughed Willow. Xander glared at her and Willow shrugged.  
  
"Honey, you're crazy about crows?," asked Anya.  
  
"No, Anya. That would be a raven lunatic," explained Xander.  
  
"Oh. Oh! Never mind," said Anya, blushing.  
  
"Um, Giles? If this is a simple possession, wouldn't an exorcism work?," asked Tara.  
  
"No, the text is very explicit in that. An exorcism, if it didn't kill the host, would leave the victim quite insane. And the demon would simply be freed to find another body," said Giles.  
  
"Binding spell?," offered Willow.  
  
"Perhaps. But I wouldn't want to attempt it," replied Giles.  
  
"Yeah, sounds like you'd just get the demon mad. Never a good idea in my book," said Xander, shaking his head.  
  
"Still lacking the fun in my patrol duties," whined Buffy.  
  
"Yes, Buffy, be assured that your job will be more difficult. I'll research this a bit more, of course. I find this new aspect of demonology fascinating," said Giles.  
  
"Giles, one word; bowling. You need a hobby and you really have to get out more. So, we done here?," asked Buffy, not waiting for his reaction.  
  
"Yes, I guess we are," agreed Giles.  
  
"Good. Then I'm off for a cat nap before I have to patrol tonight," said Buffy as she stood up. She didn't see Tara elbow Willow in the ribs.  
  
"Uh, Buffy? Wait up. I want to ask you something," said Willow.  
  
Everyone stood up and began to leave. Willow took Buffy aside and led her into the kitchen.  
  
"Will, if this is about patrolling, I'm okay. Really. Besides, don't you and Tara have plans?"  
  
"Well, we were going to see a movie but we couldn't agree on what one. So I thought we'd rent one but she didn't feel like. I don't know, maybe we'll end up Bronzing it tonight," sighed Willow.  
  
"What's up? You guys have an argument or something?," asked Buffy.  
  
No. It's nothing, I guess. Tara's been zigging and I've been zagging lately, that's all. That's why I was happy about finding that book. I was hoping to try a new spell with her. S'pose that's out," said Willow, frowning.  
  
"So, just try an old one in a new way. A little variety to shake things up," suggested Buffy.  
  
Willow looked at Buffy and smiled but didn't say anything.  
  
"Okay, quickly changing subjects now. What did you want to ask me?," said Buffy.  
  
"Oh, that. Right. Uh, Buffy, could you do me a favor?"  
  
"Do you even have to ask? Of course I'll do it. Uh, do what, exactly?," asked Buffy.  
  
"Uh, Tara and I...there's this party and, and I'd like you to be there. With us. Well, you and Xander, actually. But I haven't asked him yet. I'm going to. Just haven't gotten around to it, I guess," said Willow.  
  
"Sounds like fun. When?"  
  
"Saturday night," answered Willow.  
  
"And where is this big event going to be?," asked Buffy.  
  
"Oh, it's not big in the sense that there's gonna be a lot of people there big, but, yeah, okay I guess you could say it's big."  
  
"Uh...right. So, one more time, this not so big big event is happening where?," asked Buffy.  
  
"Oh, at the Espresso Pump," smiled Willow.  
  
"Isn't Giles playing there Saturday night?"  
  
"No. I made sure of that. Not that he doesn't have a nice singing voice. In fact, I think Giles sings very well and if he wasn't so old I might even describe his voice as sexy. If I thought of him in that way, which of course I don't. Think of him, that is," nodded Willow.  
  
"And I thought I was fluent in Willowspeak. Willow, you're playing Sherlock to my Watson here. Why the cryptic?"  
  
"Well, it's sort of a coming out party," said Willow, opening her eyes just a little wider.  
  
"Oh. Oh! You mean..."  
  
"Yeah, I mean," repeated Willow.  
  
"You and Tara?"  
  
"No, me and Amy the rat! And wouldn't that go over smoother than this. Of course me and Tara."  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean...it's just that I'm surprised. This is a big step and there's that 'big' word again. Will, you haven't even told your mother yet and you're going to announce this in public? To a group of strangers?," said Buffy.  
  
"Buffy, it's who I am. I'm not ashamed of it," pouted Willow.  
  
"No, of course not! And you shouldn't be. But who are you doing this for?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Buffy took a deep breath and put her hand on Willow's shoulder.  
  
"Is this what you really want or are you doing this to please Tara?," asked Buffy, looking into Willow's eyes.  
  
"Buffy, there's a point in every relationship when you have to decide what's important. I was hoping you would be more supportive," said Willow, looking down.  
  
"Will! I'm going to be there for you no matter what you do or what you decide. No matter what," said Buffy, putting her other hand on Willow's other shoulder. Willow smiled and looked up at her.  
  
"But I'm hearing the logic. I'm not hearing the Willow."  
  
"Uh, again I say huh?"  
  
"It sounds like you're trying to convince yourself, not me. I'm only trying to say be sure this is what you want. That this will make you happy," said Buffy.  
  
"Thanks," nodded Willow, giving Buffy a hug.  
  
"Uh, Will? If I'm there alone, will people assume that I'm coming out?"  
  
"Oh," said Willow, stepping back from Buffy. "Hadn't thought of that. Uh...you could go with Xander."  
  
"And Anya? Won't everyone think Xander is with me and her and not that I'm with Xander and Anya? Follow what I'm saying here?," asked Buffy.  
  
"Oh, this is getting complicated. And I don't particularly care for complicated," complained Willow.  
  
"I'm not loving it either," added Buffy.  
  
"Why don't you go with Giles?," suggested Willow.  
  
"No, that won't do," said both Willow and Buffy at the same time and shaking their heads.  
  
"Know what? I'll go alone. Screw what people think. You want me to be there and that's all that matters," said Buffy confidently.  
  
"Thanks, Buffy. It's important to me that you be there."  
  
"Cool. But think about what I said."  
  
Willow nodded. Then she took a deep breath.  
  
"Now to ask Xander," said Willow.  
  
"Oh, mind if I bail first?"  
  
"Not at all. Go count sheep, get some rest. And have some chicken soup. Hey, can't hurt," said Willow.  
  
"And I'll be sure to look both ways before crossing the street, mom," sighed Buffy.  
  
*****  
  
Buffy rolled the lighter over in her hand, shook her head and put the lighter back into the pocket of her jacket.  
  
"Sure, set fire to them Piece of cake. Oh, wrong thing to say," mumbled Buffy. She had skipped eating before and now, instead of being hungry, her stomach was queasy.  
  
Buffy was getting bored. It was too quiet and she hadn't even seen another person out tonight, let alone a vampire. And then she heard a scream. Buffy ran.  
  
She had to admit the vampire was bold. There he was, right on Main Street where a passing car could see them. He had the girl pressed up against a tree. Buffy was less than a block away when she stopped running but the vampire hadn't sensed her presence yet. Buffy sat down.  
  
The girl's screams had turned to sobs of protest. Even from here Buffy could hear the creature's feeding noises. It still didn't know she was here. Buffy yawned.  
  
The vampire let his victim fall to the ground with a thud. It turned and for the first time noticed the Slayer. He took a step to run but hesitated. Buffy sat there, watching it. The vampire tilted his head, confused. And then he slowly walked away, looking back over its shoulder once, and then disappeared into the darkness.  
  
The scent of the girl's blood came to her. Buffy stared at the body for some time. She noticed a popsicle stick lying on the ground near her foot and wondered if some little kid had dropped it before he or she could finish it. The thought made her sad. And then she stood up, deciding it was time to go home.  
  
*****  
  
Buffy turned the water up as hot as she could stand it. The water streamed down her face and warmed the chill from her body. After a while she reluctantly turned the shower off and reached for the towel, quickly drying herself off. Buffy stepped into a pair of sweat pants and slipped a sweat shirt over her head, then wrapped her hair in another towel.  
  
She brushed her teeth, abruptly spitting out the toothpaste and rinsing her mouth out with a glass of water. The toothpaste tasted funny to her and she assumed it was because she was coming down with something, maybe a cold. Buffy looked up into the mirror and froze.  
  
There was still a lot of steam in the bathroom from the shower. Yes, that must be it, thought Buffy. It made her reflection seem ghost-like, as if...as if she was transparent. As if she could almost see through herself to the wall behind her. Buffy shook her head and rubbed her eyes. She grabbed a comb on the way out of the bathroom. But she didn't look again into the mirror.  
  
She sat down on the edge of the bed and ran the comb through her hair once. When the phone rang she jumped.  
  
"Hello?'  
  
"Hi, Buffy, it's me."  
  
"Riley! How's your mom?"  
  
"She's good. Doctor's sending her home tomorrow. Her blood pressure was up so she switched her medication and that seemed to help. But it definitely wasn't a heart attack."  
  
"Oh, that's great news."  
  
"Yes, it is. They think the tightness in her chest might have been from stress or maybe an anxiety attack."  
  
"But she's doing good now?," asked Buffy.  
  
"Yes. Much better. Thanks. Uh, Buffy...I might stay a day or two. To see how she's doing, help her around the house. Hope you don't mind."  
  
"Don't be silly! Of course not! Stay as long as you need to. We'll make up for lost time when you get back," promised Buffy.  
  
"Sounds great. And I will make it up to you."  
  
"I know you will," teased Buffy.  
  
"I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"  
  
"You'd better!"  
  
"Goodnight, Buffy."  
  
"Goodnight."  
  
The dial tone replaced Riley's voice and Buffy stared at the phone in her hand. She sighed and placed it back on the receiver. Sitting down on the edge of Riley's bed, she ignored the comb lying on the comforter. Buffy felt cold again and wrapped her arms around herself. She saw one of Riley's shirts, tossed onto a chair where he had left it.  
  
Buffy reached over and held the shirt to her cheek, inhaling the scent of her boyfriend. Putting the shirt down on top of the comb, she slipped her sweat shirt over her head and quickly slid her arms into the shirt, only buttoning a few buttons up the front. Buffy pulled the sweat shirt back on over his shirt and got under the covers, leaving the light on.   
  
She hugged the pillow next to her and tried not to cry.  
  
End Of Part Three  
  
PART FOUR  
  
Buffy swung her arm to hit the alarm clock but the noise continued. Slowly she realized that it was the phone that was ringing and she reached for it but knocked it to the floor. With a groan she leaned over and picked it up.  
  
"Hello?," she mumbled.  
  
"Buffy? Are you still sleeping?"  
  
"Willow. Uh, no. Of course not."  
  
"Buffy."  
  
"Oh, alright. But I'm up now. What time is it?"  
  
"Just after 11:30. Uh, in the morning, not at night. You still not feeling okay?," asked Willow.  
  
"No, I feel great. Really. Just...overslept, I guess," admitted Buffy.  
  
"Sounds you got Xanderitis. You know, up at the crack of noon being the most obvious symptom?"  
  
"Is it fatal?," asked Buffy seriously.  
  
"It can be. The only known cure is the eating of donuts or the kissing of an ex-demon girlfriend," answered Willow in the same serious tone.  
  
"Ew! Okay, I'm awake. And please tell me there's donuts where you are. And where are you, by the way?"  
  
"Pay phone. Tara and I just left Sarah's place. I got the address for where she got the book from. We're going to check it out."  
  
"That's great. Why don't we meet up with Giles later?," suggested Buffy.  
  
"Oh goody, a plan! Original, too," added Willow sarcastically.  
  
"Did you know that Xanderitis can make one cranky? And a cranky Slayer is just plain no fun at all," warned Buffy.  
  
"Like I said, that's a good plan. See ya at Giles'. Bye!"  
  
Buffy fell back down on the bed and let the phone fall to the floor. She groaned and pulled the covers over her head.  
  
*****  
  
"This must be da place," announced Willow. Tara nodded in agreement as Willow rang the bell. They waited but no one answered the door so Willow rang the bell again. And still no one answered.  
  
"Maybe the bell doesn't work. Try knocking," said Tara. Willow shrugged and rapped on the door. It wasn't locked and the door opened slightly as she knocked on it. Willow glanced at Tara and pushed the door open.  
  
"Hello?," called Willow, but no one answered. She nodded for Tara to follow her and entered the house. It was quickly apparent why no one had answered the door.   
  
"I didn't see a for sale sign. Why is there no furniture here?," asked Willow.  
  
"Maybe it was already sold and the new owner hasn't moved in yet," replied Tara.  
  
"Which means we're trespassing," added Willow with a frown.  
  
"So? Let's look around."  
  
"Tara! When did you become so, so...sneaky!?," asked Willow nervously.  
  
"Come on, 'fraidy cat. There's no one here."  
  
Tara turned away from Willow and walked down a hallway.  
  
"Hey! Wait for me!," yelled Willow in a loud whisper.  
  
Their footsteps echoed loudly through the empty rooms. Tara stuck her head in a doorway and yelled.  
  
"Pinnochio!"  
  
"Tara! Are you nuts? You're not grasping this whole stealth thingy, or, or lack thereof. We're sneaking!"  
  
"Okay, remind me later to read the Scooby manual on breaking and entering protocol," smiled Tara.  
  
"No, no! We're not breaking anything, only entering! We're sneaking," insisted Willow. Tara grinned.  
  
"What?," asked Willow.  
  
"You're cute when you're mad," laughed Tara. Willow exhaled and shook her head.  
  
"Come on, Ollie," said Willow, nodding towards the hall. Together they walked to the end of the house.  
  
"Willow, did you notice? Every room has the shades pulled down. As if..."  
  
Tara stopped and looked directly at Willow. She lowered her voice to a whisper.  
  
"As if someone didn't want any sunlight to come into this house."  
  
Willow reached for her pocket and realized that once again she didn't have a cross on her. Tara rolled her eyes at her.  
  
"It was daytime! I didn't think I needed one!," protested Willow softly. "Tara, let's get out of here. Like, now."  
  
Tara nodded in agreement but stopped after taking one step.  
  
"What?," asked Willow.   
  
"That door we passed. Think that leads to the basement?"  
  
"With my luck it leads to the Hellmouth itself. And let me guess; that's the only way out, right?," asked Willow. Tara sighed and Willow knew the answer. They both started tip- toeing down the hall. And suddenly Tara stopped.  
  
Willow opened her eyes wide and mouthed the word 'what'.  
  
"What's that smell?," whispered Tara.   
  
"What...oh, yeah. Phew! It's...I think it's coming from behind this door," pointed Willow.  
  
Tara put her hand on the door knob and Willow grabbed her wrist.  
  
"Are you insane!?," said Willow, a little louder than she meant to.   
  
Tara just smiled at her and Willow's eyes grew wide in surprise. Tara turned the knob and pulled. And then she screamed as something fell between her and Willow. Willow jumped back and screamed louder than Tara. They looked down at the body lying on the floor and then stared at each other.  
  
The man had fallen out of a closet. It was obvious he had been dead for several days. It was also obvious what had killed him. Two puncture wounds were clearly visible on his neck. Willow ran down the hall and yanked on a shade so hard she pulled it out of the window. But sunlight now came into the room and she relaxed for the first time since she entered the house. She turned to see Tara kneeling beside the body.  
  
"Tara, can we go now? I don't think the vampire that killed him is still here, but still..."  
  
Tara ignored her and searched through the man's pockets, covering her mouth with her free hand. She looked at something she found, stood and walked over to Willow. Tara handed her a business card. It had the name, address and telephone number of Sarah's shop on it.  
  
"At least we know it isn't Harry," said Willow sadly.  
  
"That vampire that Buffy killed must have come here after the estate sale, looking for the book. Guess he had a temper," sighed Tara.  
  
"Or an appetite," countered Willow.  
  
The girls shut the door tightly behind them when they left.  
  
*****  
  
"Hey, wait up," called Xander.  
  
Willow and Tara turned to see Xander and Anya walking quickly towards them. Willow looked a Tara with a strange expression on her face. Tara looked at Willow and covered her mouth with a hand to hide her giggling. Willow tried not to smile.  
  
"Where are you guys going?," asked Xander.  
  
"We were heading downtown. Thought we might do some antique shopping. It's too early to meet at Giles'," explained Willow. "Hi Anya. Did...did you do something different with your hair?"  
  
"Uh, no, I didn't."  
  
"Still, there's something different about you," said Willow. She heard Tara stifle a laugh behind her.  
  
"You know, I've been thinking the same thing," said Xander. "She seems...I don't know. Happier."  
  
"Bouncy, even," said Tara. Willow had to bite her lower lip to keep from laughing. Even Anya smiled.  
  
"Yeah, but there's something else. I can't put my finger on it," said Xander, shaking his head.  
  
"Oh, I bet you have," said Willow. Tara had to turn around to hide her face.  
  
"What?," asked Xander. Now all three girls began to laugh.   
  
"I don't get it," complained Xander.  
  
"Oh yes you do," said Anya, punching him in the shoulder.  
  
"I didn't mean...ouch!," said Xander, grabbing his shoulder. He looked at Anya and suddenly realized what was different about her.  
  
"Anya, when did you become...such a...well, such a full figured girl?," asked Xander innocently. "Not that it doesn't look good. I mean, hey! You're beside yourself!"  
  
"Since I stuffed my bra this morning. Sure took you long enough to notice!," pouted Anya, crossing her arms and staring at him.  
  
"Well, don't hide them now!," complained Xander. Anya exhaled, blowing a stray hair up off her forehead.  
  
"Anya, you looked great before this. Why the 'got milk?' ad?," asked Xander, spreading his hands apart.  
  
"I did? Xander, you, well...you don't tell me that. So how was I to know?," asked Anya, looking down.  
  
"I...wait just a minute. I give you compliments all the time," protested Xander. Anya looked up and stared at him, looking sad.  
  
"Well, okay, maybe on a weekly basis," offered Xander. Anya didn't say anything but she didn't look as sad. Xander put his arm around her shoulder.   
  
"Anya, I think you're beautiful. I really do. I'm sorry if you felt that you had to change for me."  
  
"Aw, Xander. Thanks. I...I just wanted you to notice. So I figured if I'm going to walk the walk..."  
  
Anya put her hands on her hips and smiled at Xander.  
  
"You gotta jiggle the jiggle?," said Tara.  
  
"Tara!," laughed Willow. But Xander and Anya ignored them.  
  
"Anya, I always wondered about when you were a Vengeance demon. I mean, your gig was punishing males. So why are you so...," Xander hesitated, remembering that they were not alone. "So amorous now?"   
  
"Making up for lost time, I guess," shrugged Anya.  
  
Just then a blonde girl in a short skirt walked by and caught Xander's eye. He looked back at Anya and she was not happy.  
  
"Oh, now, come on. Don't be that way. It was just a quick glance. What, you have eyes in the back of your head? Oh, I didn't mean that just because you were a demon that you might really have had...you didn't, did you?," asked Xander.  
  
"If I did I'm sure it's not them you'd be looking at," replied Anya.  
  
"Well, probably not. I mean...hey!"  
  
"Why do I put up with you? Males! It's been over a thousand years since I've interacted with them and I still haven't figured them out!," yelled Anya. But she looked more sad than angry.  
  
"Oh, honey, come here," said Xander, stepping towards her and giving her a hug. She smiled and embraced him. And then they both stepped apart and looked down at Anya's blouse. It was wet.   
  
"Uh, Anya? Why is one side so much smaller suddenly and what exactly did you, uh, stuff with?," asked Xander.  
  
"Water balloon?," offered Anya with a frown.  
  
Xander closed his eyes and shook his head.   
  
"Well, I wanted a certain...uh...,"  
  
"Bounce?," finished Xander for her. Anya nodded.  
  
"In hindsight, kind of a dumb choice, no?," asked Xander.  
  
"Dumb! I only did it for you! Well, I've never been so insulted!," said Anya as she turned and stormed off.  
  
"Oh, please! You must have been! Anya, wait up."  
  
Willow looked at Tara and let out a slow whistle.  
  
"She's a handful," said Tara.  
  
"Well, maybe a little less than that now. At least on one side," smiled Willow.  
  
Tara rolled her eyes but smiled too. They turned around and began walking down the street again. Tara slipped her hand around Willow's. They didn't get very far before Willow stopped in front a store she hadn't noticed before. She put her arm around Tara's shoulder and Tara responded by putting her arm around Willow's waist.  
  
"Hey, this must be new. Wonder what it is?," asked Willow.  
  
"It's a comic book store," came a voice from behind them. They turned their heads. It took a moment but Willow recognized...Jonathan! She quickly let go of Tara and turned to face him.  
  
"Jonathan! Wow, it's...you. Didn't see you lurking there behind us. I mean me. Behind me," said Willow. Tara raised an eyebrow at her comment.  
  
"Hi Willow. How are you?," asked Jonathan.  
  
"Good. Great even. You?"  
  
"Can't complain. Still do, of course," he replied.  
  
"Oh, you remember Tara, right? Tara, this is Jonathan," introduced Willow.  
  
"I remember. Hi Jonathan."  
  
"Hi."  
  
They all stood there for a moment, not sure of what to say.  
  
"Can I help you find something?," asked Jonathan.  
  
"Huh? What do you mean?," asked Willow.  
  
"This is my store. Are you looking for a comic?"  
  
"Oh. This is...wow. Jonathan, you're a business man now?," asked Willow.  
  
"Yes, I am. Hard to believe, right?," he asked.  
  
"Well, no, I didn't mean..."  
  
"It's okay Willow. I know what you meant. Why isn't the school nerd working for minimum wage and asking if you want fries with that?"  
  
"Jonathan! That's...a little harsh," said Willow, trying to defend herself.  
  
"It's okay, Willow. I was a nerd. But I like my life now. I like myself," said Jonathan with a smile.  
  
"That's great, Jonathan," said Tara.  
  
"Yeah, I did a lot of thinking since the last time we met. And I'm still sorry about that, you know. The whole fame thing and all," frowned Jonathan.  
  
"Oh, don't be silly. Don't even remember it," said Willow, waving her hand at him. "Except for that swimsuit calendar," admitted Willow, blushing.  
  
"Oh, yeah. That. But hey, the store's great. Making money, meeting people, and by opening late every day it doesn't interfere with my social life," said Jonathan, winking.  
  
"Social life?," asked Willow.  
  
"Oh yeah. You remember those twins I was dating during that whole, well...you know."  
  
"Twins? Oh, right! The twins," said Willow. "The twins!?"  
  
"Yep. For some reason they both still like me. The real me. Can you believe that?," he asked.  
  
"Uh..."  
  
"Said something about being a real man because I was so honest. And after all that happened, too. I just had to be myself. Go figure."  
  
"Yeah, go figure. But hey, good for you!," encouraged Willow. "And the owner of a comic book store. That's a...valid lifestyle choice," added Willow. Tara rolled her eyes.  
  
"Thanks. What about you? Seeing anyone? Since Oz, I mean," asked Jonathan.  
  
"Uh, no...no one that you would know, I mean," stuttered Willow, glancing at Tara. Tara opened her eyes wide but quickly looked away.  
  
"Don't worry, Willow. I'm sure you'll find someone. Uh, you know, I've got to open up now, so if you'll excuse me," said Jonathan, holding up a set of keys and nodding towards the door.   
  
"Oh, of course! We have to get going anyway. Nice seeing you again," said Willow.  
  
"It was. And you know what? If you see Buffy, tell her I'm happy. Now that I'm not embarrassed to have people see the real me," said Jonathan.  
  
"I will," agreed Willow, looking down at the ground as he said that.  
  
"Bye, Jonathan. I'm happy for you. See what can happen when you're not embarrassed to be yourself?," said Tara, walking away.  
  
"Bye," said Willow quickly, turning to catch up with Tara. Jonathan gave them a strange look and entered the store.  
  
"Tara, wait!"  
  
Tara stopped and glared at Willow.  
  
"So I'm no one! Even in front of the class nerd, I'm no one!"  
  
"Tara, I didn't mean to..."  
  
"Well, guess what? You did! And, and...and I better leave. Right now. Before I say something that I'll regret later," said Tara with her voice cracking and tears in her eyes. She turned and walked quickly away, one hand over her mouth.  
  
"Tara, please! I'm so sorry!," yelled Willow. But Tara didn't look back and she didn't stop.  
  
"Damn it!," cried Willow, kicking the side of the building she was standing in front of. She winced from the pain and limped away.  
  
*****   
  
Buffy rubbed her eyes and looked at the clock. It was four o'clock and she shook her head in disbelief. Stumbling out of bed, she made her way to the shower...  
  
Buffy kept the shower running long after she stepped out of it. The mirror was steamed over but even so she didn't look at it. She got dressed in the bathroom. Finally she turned the water off and left to see Giles.  
  
*****   
  
Giles opened the door. Buffy was standing there, hands in pockets and still wearing her sunglasses and baseball cap.  
  
"Hey. Sorry I'm late," apologized Buffy as she walked past Giles. "Uh, where is everyone?"  
  
"Tara's not here," answered Willow.  
  
"I can see that. Hence the where is question," said Buffy.  
  
"Oh. Sorry. She wasn't feeling well. And Xander and Anya had a fight so they are either a, still fighting or b, making up. Either way I'm sure there's an ick factor involved," nodded Willow.  
  
"Buffy, you've got long sleeves on! It must be in the low eighties outside. Are you still cold?," asked Giles.  
  
"Yeah, a little," admitted Buffy. "But I'm feeling better. Really."  
  
"I might believe you more if I saw your eyes once in a while," said Willow. "And...what happened to your ears? And neck?," asked Willow as she walked around Buffy. "They're very red. Almost like you got a sunburn."  
  
"And I got that by walking over here? Um, I took a hot shower before I came here. So that must be why my ears and neck are red. So...find out anything about our reluctant vampire?"  
  
"Only that Tara and Willow went back to the house that Sarah bought the book from. However, it was empty. Except for one of the vampire's victims," explained Giles.  
  
"Dead as a doornail," added Willow.  
  
"Now see, there's one of those expressions again. What's so special about a doornail? Lots of things have nails in them. So why is a doornail dead? Argh!," growled Buffy.  
  
"Buffy, perhaps you should patrol in the area around that house. Very possibly it will be a dead end, but it is a place to start," suggested Giles.  
  
"The trail of clues is cold, eh? Does one body a trail make?"  
  
"Buffy!," sighed Willow.  
  
"Sorry. Couldn't help myself. Alright, I'll patrol there tonight. Anything else? I want to be at Riley's place until then. In case he calls."  
  
"His mom is okay?," asked Willow.  
  
"Yes. In fact she's home already," said Buffy.  
  
"Are you sure you feel well enough to patrol?," asked Giles.  
  
"Oh yeah. I'm in a butt kicking mood," smiled Buffy.  
  
*****  
  
"Here, suck wall!," yelled Buffy as she pushed the vampire hard against the wall, forcing his elbow up. She got in three punches to the ribs before he spun and punched her in the jaw, snapping her head back. She let go of his arm and kicked down on his instep, ducking under his other arm as he swung wildly. Buffy got an elbow to his face and then backed off. She glanced down at his victim. The girl's breathing was shallow and she was unconscious.  
  
"Hey, what's the big idea!?," snarled the vampire.  
  
"Excuse me?," answered Buffy, hands up in a fighting stance.  
  
"Just what the hell do you think you're doing?," yelled the vampire.  
  
"What's it look like?," smiled Buffy.  
  
The vampire stood up straighter and put his hands on his hips.  
  
"Oh great, another newbie! Look kid, here's the rules; one, whoever makes the kill feeds first. Leftovers are for the lazy or those too injured or weak to hunt for themselves. And two, we don't hurt our own. Honor among thieves and all that. Who do you think you are, the Slayer?"  
  
"As a matter of fact...hey, what did you call me?," asked Buffy, lowering her hands slightly. "You...you think I'm a vampire?"  
  
"Well, duh! Try looking in a mirror lately? Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, I'll have to remember that one," smiled the vamp.  
  
Buffy glanced down at the girl again and knew that she wouldn't live. For some reason the scent of her blood seemed strong to Buffy.  
  
"Hey, I know it's rough at first, but you'll learn. Tell you what. Help yourself," offered the vampire, pointing to the girl. "I wasn't done, but, well, maybe you'll return the favor sometime. Wouldn't even have to be a meal, if you know what I mean," smiled the vampire.  
  
Buffy looked down again at the girl. The Slayer's face was at first filled with fear at what the vampire had said, then turned to disgust. She took a step towards the vampire, spun and kicked him in the face, knocking him to the ground. In one smooth motion she pulled a stake out from beneath her shirt and drove it into his chest.  
  
The vampire's last expression was that of bewilderment as he exploded into ash.  
  
"Nice try. Had me going there for a moment. Bastard," spat Buffy, getting up and walking away.   
  
She left the girl on the ground, never once looking back at her.  
  
End Of Part Four   
  
  



	2. Default Chapter Title

PART FIVE  
  
All disclaimers and other "stuff" are in part one.  
  
Tara sat on the edge of her bed and for what seemed to her to be the one hundredth time, looked at the clock. It was just past two in the morning. She went back to staring at the tissue in her hands.  
  
Tara let the tissue fall from her hands. It landed on a pile of other crumpled tissues at her feet. She took a deep breath and stood up, quickly walking over to the closet. Opening the door, Tara was torn between her desire to get dressed so she could find Willow and the knowledge that it was dangerous to be on the streets of Sunnydale at night. Especially at two in the morning.  
  
Hanging on a hook on the back of the closet door was Willow's robe. Tara gently lifted it off the hook and held it against herself. Closing her eyes, she held the robe up to her cheek and inhaled. She sniffed once or twice and tried to fight back the tears she knew were coming.  
  
Tara lowered the robe and opened her eyes, catching her reflection in the mirror on the back of the closet door. Her eyes were red and puffy. She quickly looked away and sat back down on the bed. Very slowly she lay down on her side, Willow's robe clutched against her, and stared off at nothing.  
  
Tara fought the urge to look at the clock.  
  
*****  
  
Buffy touched the play button on the answering machine. There was only one message.   
  
"Hi. It's me. Sorry I didn't call earlier. And now I guess you're out pa...for a walk. Mom's doing fine. I'm going to stay at least one more day, maybe two. I'll call you tomorrow. I miss you. Goodnight."  
  
Buffy sighed and shook her head.  
  
"Love you too," she whispered.  
  
She was hungry. Buffy walked into the kitchen and it occurred to her that she hadn't eaten since...lunch with Riley yesterday! Was that possible? She undid the tie on the plastic wrapper and took out two slices of bread. Immediately the smell assailed her and she wrinkled her nose. Buffy didn't see any mold and the expiration date on the package was four days away. She tossed both slices of bread into the garbage.  
  
"So much for toast."  
  
Buffy poured herself a glass of water and headed for the bathroom to get ready for bed. She flipped the light switch on and took a sip of water.  
  
The glass slipped from her hand and shattered on the floor. Buffy stood there, staring into the mirror. But she had no reflection.   
  
Suddenly feeling dizzy, Buffy backed up and reached behind her for the door frame, bumping into it. She forced herself to breathe, slowly and evenly, fighting off the panic that threatened to close her throat. Her skin felt clammy and her shirt stuck to her back.  
Buffy closed her eyes. Her hands behind her were trembling so with her back she pressed against them into the wall.  
  
There was a knock at the door.  
  
"Buffy? It's me. Are you awake? I saw a light on."  
  
"Willow," whispered Buffy, staring nervously at the door.  
  
Willow knocked again.  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
"Just a minute," called Buffy. She turned the bathroom light off and frantically looked around the room, spotting her sunglasses by the telephone. Buffy ran over and quickly put them on. She opened the door.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Hey. Willow, what's wrong? Why are you here?"  
  
Buffy could see that Willow had been crying.   
  
"Can I come in?"  
  
"Oh, sorry! Of course," said Buffy, stepping back to let Willow by.  
  
"Tara and I, we, uh, had a fight. Can I crash here tonight?"  
  
"Of course you can. Willow, you should have called me. I would've come over so you weren't walking around alone at night."  
  
"It's okay. I ran. And I have a cross this time," said Willow.  
  
"I know. But there's more than just vampires to worry about, you know."  
  
"You know? How did you know?," asked Willow, surprised.  
  
"Huh? Oh, the cross! I mean, I assumed you had one. After the verbal abuse I gave you the last time," explained Buffy.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Willow, is there anything I can do? You want to talk about it?"  
  
Willow looked away from Buffy.  
  
"It's all my fault. I was so mean to her. We...hey, what's up with the sunglasses?," asked Willow, glancing back at Buffy. "You okay? That big thing we call the sun is sleeping now."  
  
"I know. I...I was trying to read. My eyes are still bothering me. Bright light, you know? So, you and Tara. Let's hear it."  
  
"Buffy, let me see your eyes."  
  
"Willow, really, it's nothing. I'm feeling better. A lot better."  
  
"Good. Then it won't matter if you show me your eyes," said Willow firmly.  
  
"Willow, come on..."  
  
But Buffy saw that Willow was getting angry.  
  
"Okay, fine! I'm telling you it's no big. But if it will make you happy," sighed Buffy. "I'm just going to step away from the light a little bit."  
  
Willow crossed her arms and waited. Buffy frowned and lowered her head, sliding off the glasses with one hand. Slowly she raised her head and, squinting, looked at Willow.  
  
"See? I told you..."  
  
Willow dropped her arms and took a step backwards, bumping into the couch.  
  
"Oh my God! Buffy!," yelled gripping the couch behind her.  
  
"Willow. What's wrong?"  
  
"Your eyes! They're, they're yellow! Like...like when Angel becomes...Buffy, go look in a mirror."  
  
Buffy turned away from Willow.  
  
"No. If you say they're yellow, well, I believe you."  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
"What?," asked Buffy, starting to cry.  
  
"How did you know I had a cross this time?"  
  
Buffy spun around and glared at Willow.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?," she demanded.  
  
"I think you know," replied Willow in a calm voice.  
  
"Willow, it's not what you think," said Buffy, crying harder now. She took a step towards her but Willow backed away.  
  
"Willow...please. It's me."  
  
"No, this can't be happening!"  
  
"It's still me, Will. Look, I'll, I'll prove it to you. Show me your cross."  
  
"Buffy, you don't have to..."  
  
"Show me it!," yelled Buffy, startling Willow. Willow reached into her back pocket and brought the cross out in front of her. Buffy's eyes darted from the cross to Willow and back to the cross again. She took a step towards Willow and inhaled sharply, wincing as if in pain.  
  
"Buffy, you don't have to do this. Let's, let's go see Giles. Okay?"  
  
Buffy looked at Willow and then again at the cross.  
  
"No. I have to do this," said Buffy, shaking her head.  
  
Willow frowned and held the cross up higher. Buffy swallowed and closed her eyes for a moment. And then she suddenly lunged, grabbing the cross. Buffy cried out in pain and the cross fell on the floor between them. She opened her palm and looked up at Willow. There was a red burn mark on her hand.  
  
Willow froze, not even breathing. Buffy backed away from her, surprising calm.  
  
"Willow, pick up the cross."  
  
Willow didn't move.  
  
"Now!," yelled Buffy.  
  
Willow began to cry as she knelt down and reached for the cross. Her hand was trembling and she dropped it once but quickly picked it up.  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. It's just...Will, I'm scared."  
  
Willow nodded and wiped her eyes.  
  
"Come here. I want you to see something," said Buffy, turning and walking into the bathroom, not even waiting to see if Willow followed her.  
  
Buffy turned on the light and shook her head as she looked into the mirror. She touched the mirror with one hand, her lower lip quivering as she fought back the tears. Willow's reflection was suddenly staring at her. Willow gasped, holding a hand over her mouth.  
  
"Will, I need you to do something for me."  
  
Buffy spoke very slowly and calmly but wouldn't look at Willow.  
  
"Sh...sure, Buffy. Anything. Wh...what can I do?"  
  
"Go into the bedroom. On the dresser you'll find my silver cross. I want you to put it on and promise me you won't take it off. Even if I ask you to...even if I beg you. Promise me."  
  
"I promise," managed Willow, starting to cry again.  
  
Buffy nodded.  
  
"I don't think I should be alone now. I'm going to stay with Giles. I need you to pack a few things for me, some clothes and whatever else you think I might need for a few days. I'm going to call him now and tell him...tell him that I need him," said Buffy, beginning to cry herself.  
  
"Okay. That's...that's a good idea," nodded Willow. "I'll go and, and start packing."  
  
Willow left, not knowing what else to say. Buffy counted to twenty and then went into the next room and picked up the phone. She quickly dialed the number without hesitation.  
  
"Angel Investigations. We help the hopeless."  
  
"Cordelia! Thank God you're still there. Is Angel..."  
  
"If that's you, leave a message."  
  
Buffy slowly put the phone back on the receiver. And stared at it. Finally, her hand trembling so badly that she had to dial the number twice, she called Giles. He picked up on the third ring.  
  
"Hello?," mumbled Giles.  
  
"Giles, it's me."  
  
"Buffy! Are you alright?"  
  
Buffy smiled. His first thoughts were always about her well-being.  
  
"No, I'm not. I'm really not. Can I come over?"  
  
"Of course. But what's the problem? Are you hurt?," added Giles quickly.  
  
"No. And I'll explain everything when I get there. Willow is with me. I...I just wanted you to know we were coming," said Buffy, fighting to keep her voice steady so Giles wouldn't worry.  
  
"Only Willow is with you? Is Tara okay?"  
  
Buffy closed her eyes. Willow had needed to talk to her about Tara and she had forgotten that.  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
"Tara's fine. Giles, I know where to find the demon we're after. But I'll explain it when I get there. Be there in about fifteen minutes. Gotta go. Bye!"  
  
Buffy hung up the phone before Giles could say anything else. She looked up and saw Willow staring at her from the doorway of the bedroom. She had a backpack slung over her shoulder.  
  
"Hey," said Buffy.  
  
"Hey," replied Willow, forcing a smile.  
  
"You never got a chance to tell me about Tara."  
  
"I know," nodded Willow. "Later. Okay? It, it just doesn't seem important right now."  
  
"I'm sorry," said Buffy, standing up.  
  
"Oh, Buffy," said Willow, walking towards her with her arms open to give her a hug. Buffy stepped back, staring at Willow's throat. Willow stopped, her hand touching the silver cross that now hung around her neck. She closed her eyes, shook her head and sighed.  
  
"Oops?," offered Willow with a shrug.  
  
Buffy smiled even as the tears ran down her cheeks.  
  
"Let's go. We can talk about Tara on the way," said Buffy, nodding towards the door.  
  
*****  
  
Giles opened the door at the first knock. Willow stood there, her hand still in the air in front of her as if she was about to knock again. Buffy stood several feet behind her.  
  
"Willow, you're finally here! I was getting worried. Buffy had said fifteen minutes and it's been almost a half hour."  
  
"Sorry. We were talking," said Willow sadly as she walked past Giles and entered his living room. Buffy stood there, not moving.  
  
"Uh, Buffy? Are you going to come in?," asked Giles, confused.  
  
Buffy looked down at the ground as she spoke.  
  
"You have to invite me in, Giles," she said softly.  
  
"Excuse me? What do you mean?," asked Giles.  
  
Buffy removed her sunglasses and slowly raised her head. Giles stared at her, still not understanding.  
  
"If...if you don't think it's a good idea, if you don't...don't think it's safe, I'll understand. But I don't know what to do. Giles...," pleaded Buffy, beginning to cry again.  
  
Willow put her hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Giles, it's Buffy!"  
  
Giles shook his head, finally overcoming his shock.  
  
"Buffy, please forgive me! Come in. You are always welcome here. Always."  
  
Giles opened his arms to her. Buffy didn't hesitate. She ran to him and hugged him, her body convulsing with sobs. She couldn't speak and Giles let her cry in his arms.  
  
"Shh. I'm here now. You're going to be safe here. You know I'm going to help you. Buffy, I promise you, you're going to be okay," said Giles, stroking her hair.  
  
Buffy only cried harder.  
  
*****  
  
Buffy was covered with a blanket, seeming to be peacefully asleep. Willow sat on the end of the couch by Buffy's feet, her knees drawn up to her chest and her arms wrapped around her legs. Willow rested her head on her knees and stared sideways at her friend.  
  
"Willow, it will be light soon. I got almost three hours of sleep last night. Why don't you go lay down for a while?," suggested Giles, keeping his voice low.  
  
"No. I want to stay with her," answered Willow, not taking her eyes off of Buffy. "I'll try to nap later. Maybe when Xander gets here."  
  
"Very well. I need to run an errand. I'll be back in twenty minutes or so."  
  
Willow looked up at him.  
  
"Giles, where are you going at this time of day?"  
  
"Well, if you must know, Buffy may need something to eat later," said Giles, taking off his glasses and rubbing the bridge of his nose.  
  
"Oh. Oh! You mean..."  
  
Giles nodded.  
  
"Sure you'll be okay?," he asked.  
  
"Yeah," nodded Willow. "Giles, what can we do? To help her, I mean. This is a hellmouthy thing. There must be a cure. Right?," she asked hopefully.  
  
"Yes, there must be," said Giles unconvincingly. He tried to smile for Willow but had to look away.   
  
Willow rested her head back on her knees and stared at Buffy. Even though Giles shut the door quietly behind him, Buffy woke up. The first thing she saw was Willow looking back at her.  
  
"Hey," said Willow.  
  
"Hey. Did Giles leave?"  
  
"Yeah, he had to...he had to go out. He'll be right back. But I'm here. See, we're not going to leave you alone. Not for a minute. Can I get you something?"  
  
"No. Willow, you need some sleep."  
  
"As soon as he gets back. I promise."  
  
Buffy nodded. "It's almost dawn, isn't it?"  
  
"Yeah. How did you...oh. Sorry," frowned Willow.  
  
Buffy shook her head. "Don't be. It's going to be okay. Giles will figure something out. He always does."  
  
Willow smiled.  
  
"Buffy, go back to sleep. I'll be right here. Unless I'm not, but that only means I ran to the bathroom, okay?"  
  
"Thanks. And Willow?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I love you."  
  
"I love you too," smiled Willow.  
  
Buffy closed her eyes again and it wasn't long before she fell back to sleep. Willow had been determined not to cry in front of Buffy but she couldn't hold back the tears any longer. She covered her face with her hands so Buffy wouldn't hear her sobs.   
  
Buffy hadn't even realized that her fangs had grown in.  
  
*****  
  
Giles stepped out of the butcher shop and looked at the sky. The first hints of red were highlighting the clouds. He looked at the large brown bag that he held in one hand. And suddenly Giles felt very small and helpless. He leaned back against the wall behind him and tightly closed his eyes. Giles took off his glasses and gave in to his feelings, knowing that he had to be strong in front of Buffy. Something he knew that he was not.   
  
It was light out before Giles started walking home.  
  
End Of Part Five  
  
PART SIX  
  
Someone was knocking at the front door. Willow was closest to the door so she got up and opened it. And was surprised to see Tara standing there.  
  
"Tara!," said Willow excitedly, smiling and hugging her. Tara didn't speak but simply closed her eyes and smiled, hugging Willow tightly.  
  
"Hi," whispered Tara. Willow stepped back from her but held each of her hands.  
  
"Tara, don't take this the wrong way, but you look like how I feel."  
  
Tara nodded but then frowned.  
  
"Is there a good way to take that?," she asked.  
  
"No. You didn't sleep either?," asked Willow, frowning. Tara shook her head.  
  
"Why don't you come in?," asked Willow, nodding behind her.  
  
"Willow, we have to talk."  
  
"I know. But now's not a good time."  
  
"Oh, right. Your friends. Uh, can we go somewhere?," asked Tara with a pained expression.  
  
"No, that's not it. It's Buffy. The demon, from that vampire...it, it has started. The possession."  
  
Tara opened her wide eyes in surprise.  
  
"No!," said Tara softly. "Poor Buffy."   
  
Willow glanced behind her and then hugged Tara again, sneaking in a quick kiss on her cheek.  
  
"Tara, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me," whispered Willow.  
  
"You know I can't stay mad at you," answered Tara.  
  
"We'll talk later, okay? Come on in," said Willow, pulling her into the room by one hand.   
  
Everyone was staring at them. Xander and Anya were sitting on the couch, Giles was standing in the middle of the room holding an open book in one hand and Buffy was at the far end of the room, sitting in a chair. She had her sunglasses on. Tara noticed that even though the blinds were pulled down she was as far away from the windows as she could be.  
  
"Hi," said Tara, raising one hand and quickly lowering it. Xander and Anya nodded. Giles grunted something and returned to reading his book, one hand now rubbing his chin. Only Buffy said anything.  
  
"Hey, Tara," said Buffy, forcing a smile.  
  
"How are you feeling, Buffy?," asked Tara, noticing she sounded differently. And then Tara noticed that her upper lip seemed puffy or raised and realized why.  
  
"Oh, been better. Xander?"  
  
"Uh...oh, right!," replied Xander, standing up and reaching into his pocket. He handed Tara a small wooden cross on a simple chain.  
  
"Here, put this on," said Xander. Tara took the cross but looked confused.  
  
"Please," added Buffy. She slowly lowered her sunglasses for a moment so that Tara could see her eyes.  
  
"Oh," nodded Tara as she slipped the chain over her head. She sat down with Xander on the couch. Willow sat on the arm of the couch next to Tara.  
  
"I'll be with you in just a moment. I think I may be on to something here," said Giles, not looking up from the book. The room grew so quiet everyone could hear the ticking of the clock.  
  
"Nice shirt, Xander. It looks good on ya," said Tara in a loud whisper.  
  
"Thanks. Yes, it does. But then again, I picked it out," said Anya.  
  
"No, Anya, I said on ya. As in on you. Not Anya, as in, well, Anya," said Tara.  
  
"Huh?," asked Anya.  
  
"Never mind. So you two kissed and made up?," asked Tara.  
  
"Oh yeah!," smiled Anya.  
  
"Okay, just looking for the Reader's Digest condensed version here, people," warned Willow.  
  
"Understood, Will. But, yeah, we're all done disagreeing. Right Anya?," smiled Xander.  
  
"Yep. Except for the innie and outie topic and which is better," reminded Anya.  
  
"Uh, can I just ask a simple question here? Is that all you two talk about? Don't you...do it enough that you don't have to always talk about it?," complained Willow.  
  
"Willow, get your mind out of the gutter! We were talking about belly buttons," said Xander.  
  
Willow stared at him blankly.  
  
"Oh. Never mind," grinned Willow, quickly looking away.  
  
"Damn it!," yelled Giles, slamming the book shut and startling everyone. He looked around the room, suddenly embarrassed.  
  
"Sorry. I thought...I thought there was an exorcism that we could attempt. For Buffy. But I was wrong. It won't work." Giles sat down, took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes.  
  
Buffy got up and walked over to him, putting an arm on his shoulder. He looked up sadly at her but didn't say anything, not even trying to smile for her.  
  
"Giles, you're tired and you've been going at this too long. You need a break. We'll figure something out. We always do," smiled Buffy, careful not to open her mouth as she did so. She gave his shoulder a little squeeze.  
  
"Buffy, sit down. Here," said Giles, patting the arm of the chair he sat on with his hand. Buffy hesitated but then sat down, putting an arm around the back of the chair to balance herself.  
  
"Let's talk," said Giles, looking into her eyes.  
  
"Sure. But first, could you, uh..." Buffy pulled up at the collar of her shirt and glanced at Giles' neck.  
  
"Wh...oh, of course!" Giles tucked the cross deeper into his shirt and buttoned the top button.  
  
"Better?"  
  
"Much. Okay, talk. How 'bout them Dodgers!"  
  
Giles didn't smile.  
  
"Sorry," pouted Buffy. "Just trying to lighten the mood."  
  
"Buffy, when was the last time you ate something?"  
  
"That would be the other day. Lunch, with Riley."  
  
"So it's been almost forty eight hours since you've eaten?," asked Giles.  
  
Buffy nodded.  
  
"Does water count? I mean, I've tried to eat but the smell of food just makes me sick to my tummy. Anything...bread, an apple..."  
  
"That's because you're not trying the right food," said Giles, staring at her.  
  
"Giles, no...no, I couldn't. Don't even suggest that."  
  
"You have to keep up your strength. To fight back at this thing. You have to..."  
  
"But, if I do...drink blood...won't that just speed up the process? Won't I just be feeding this thing inside of me?," asked Buffy.  
  
"No," said Tara.  
  
Giles and Buffy instantly looked at Tara.  
  
"No, you won't. At least I don't think so," added Tara, suddenly becoming uncomfortable with being the center of attention. She bit her lower lip and looked at Willow.  
  
"Can you explain yourself?," asked Giles.  
  
"Go on, Tara," encouraged Willow, putting a hand on the back of her neck.  
  
"It's a feeling I have, a...I'm sensing two entities within you, fighting for control. It's similar to when Faith was in your body, but...not really. This is different. The other in you is still weak but it's not like you. Your soul, if you will, stands out."  
  
"How so?," asked Buffy.  
  
"The other isn't afraid," said Tara. She looked down for a moment but then looked up at Buffy. "This thing will grow whether you starve to death or not. Giles is right. You need your strength to fight back."  
  
Buffy exhaled slowly and looked at Giles.  
  
"Buffy, the vampire that you killed, the one with this demon inside of it, his face didn't change even when you killed it. Because it had just fed. And remember, when you faced him in the alley he was in control. Or at least seemed to be," added Giles.  
  
"Because it had just fed. So if I...drink, then not only should I have more control but my eyes and teeth should go back to normal."  
  
"I believe so, yes," agreed Giles.  
  
"You've already been to the butcher shop, haven't you?," asked Buffy. Giles nodded.  
  
"Buffy, over the last day or so, have there been times when you haven't been in control? Can you remember any?," asked Willow.  
  
"No. I don't think so," answered Buffy.  
  
"What about the sunglasses? Were you trying to hide your eyes from us?," asked Xander.  
  
"No...no, that wasn't why," said Buffy.  
  
"Are you sure?," asked Giles.  
  
"No," admitted Buffy. "I'm not sure. Although..."  
  
"Although what?," asked Giles.  
  
"The other night, on patrol...I'm a little fuzzy about going home. I was walking around and I heard, I heard...a scream..." Buffy shook her head. "then I was in the shower. I can't remember walking home. Has anyone noticed me doing anything, well, odd? Or odder?"  
  
"No to the odd," said Willow. Giles shook his head.  
  
Buffy stood up but turned to face Giles.  
  
"Giles, we have a problem here. I don't think you've thought this thing the whole way through."  
  
"Oh? How so?," asked Giles, looking up at her.  
  
"If this thing inside of me takes control, you're facing a vampire with Slayer strength. I wouldn't want to face that. How will any of you?"  
  
Giles found that he couldn't look at Buffy.  
  
"Giles! What are we going to do?," asked Buffy nervously.  
  
"I don't know. I'm sorry. I just...don't know," admitted Giles, looking back up at her.  
  
"Maybe we should call Angel," said Anya.  
  
Buffy's head turned towards Anya. Anya wasn't sure if she saw anger or fear on the Slayer's face.  
  
"Just a thought," shrugged Anya. "You know, so that we have a chance before you slaughter us all."  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes and looked back at Giles.  
  
"It is something to consider," agreed Giles. Buffy's eye's opened wide in surprise.  
  
"No. Not yet, anyway. Not yet," repeated Buffy sadly.  
  
"Uh, Buffy? Is that your final answer? Or is it the demon talking?," asked Xander.  
  
"It's me. Really, it's me. But there's no way I can prove that. To any of you. There's always going to be just a little doubt now, isn't there?," asked Buffy, staring at Giles.  
  
"Just a little. To err on the safe side," said Giles, trying to sound reassuring.  
  
Buffy took a step towards Giles and put both hands on his shoulders.  
  
"Giles, I need you to promise me something. If it...if it becomes obvious to you that I'm a danger to any of you...I want you to promise me that you'll kill me."  
  
"Buffy!," protested Giles.  
  
"Giles, listen to me. I will not watch as this thing kills the people that I love! I can't ask anyone else. It has to be you. Please. Promise me," begged Buffy.  
  
"No. I can't do that."  
  
"Giles!"  
  
"Listen to me!," yelled Giles, standing up. "Even if I sedated you so that you couldn't fight back, it will do no good to kill you. The demon will just possess another body."  
  
"But you said if it was burned..."  
  
"Yes. But only after you turn someone. Only then. The witch tried to do what you are suggesting. She tied the vampire up so that the sunlight would kill it. But the demon came back. And took over her sister. The witch died by her own sister's hand. The diary was finished by another member of her coven. Now do you understand what you're up against? Do you?"  
  
"Giles, I will not take the life of another human, not even to save my own," said Buffy.  
  
"I know. But when the time comes, instinct and self preservation will take over. You will not be in control. And the demon will kill," said Giles, exhaling as if to drive home his point.  
  
"Wow. That's one hell of a curse. Even as a vengeance demon I never thought up anything that clever," commented Anya.  
  
"Honey, now might be a good time for some of that quiet time we talked about," admonished Xander.  
  
"There may be a way to prevent an innocent from dying," began Giles.  
  
"What?," asked Buffy hopefully.  
  
"I would be the one to die."  
  
"What!? Giles, no! No...I couldn't live with myself after that, knowing that I...no!," yelled Buffy.  
  
"I took an oath to protect you. Above all else, the Slayer must live, my life be damned. If it comes to that, you'll have no choice. I'll offer myself up. It will be up to you to overpower me and burn the body."  
  
Buffy's face contorted as she fought back tears. Giles reached out to her but she pulled her arm back violently, glaring at him. She sat back down in her chair, head in her hands. Giles sat back down and stared at the floor.  
  
Willow quickly went over to Buffy, one hand holding and covering the cross around her neck. Buffy looked up and Willow knelt down in front of her and hugged her. They held each other for almost a full minute.  
  
"Thanks, Will."  
  
"Buffy, you want I should call Riley?," asked Willow.  
  
Buffy thought about that for a moment but then shook her head.  
  
"No. No, he'd freak. We'll wait 'til he gets back."  
  
"Okay," nodded Willow. "Um, it being daylight and all, you must be tired, huh?"   
  
"Yeah, very," agreed Buffy.  
  
"Buffy, I want you to do something. For me. 'Cause I'm worried about you. Alright?"  
  
Buffy nodded.  
  
"I'm going into the kitchen to...get lunch ready for you. At least try it. Then you can take a nappy. Sound like a plan?," asked Willow with a smile.  
  
"Sure. But only if you and Giles get some sleep too," said Buffy.  
  
"No problem there," replied Willow, standing up. "Hey, how's the hand?"  
  
Buffy held up her hand. The burn mark from the cross was almost completely faded.  
  
"Still heal like a Slayer, I guess," shrugged Buffy.  
  
"Just give me a minute or two," said Willow as she turned and headed for the kitchen.  
  
"Xander, would you and Anya get those books I mentioned before?," asked Giles. "We need to stay focused. To keep researching."  
  
"Sure thing," said Xander as he and Anya stood up and walked to the other side of the room.  
  
Giles followed Willow into the kitchen, not looking at Buffy. He found her holding a plastic cup almost full with blood in both hands. She was staring blankly at the floor.  
  
"Giles, what do we do?"  
  
"I don't know, Willow. I just don't know. For the first time since I became Buffy's Watcher I feel helpless. And I hate it!"  
  
"I meant do I put this in the microwave or do I serve it to her cold?," asked Willow.  
  
"Oh. Um, microwave, thirty seconds on low. Don't let it come to a boil."  
  
"Must be a cultural thingy. I mean, you English like your beer warm and we drink it cold. Not that I drink beer, of course," added Willow, quickly turning around and opening the microwave.  
  
"Yes, there is no accounting for taste, is there?," asked Giles.  
  
*****  
  
Buffy smiled at Tara as she stood up and walked past her on the way to the kitchen. Tara nodded but couldn't force herself to smile. She sat there, feeling very tired and not a little sorry for herself. Tara rubbed her eyes, realizing that Buffy's problems were much greater than her own. Then she felt two hands on the back of her neck. She stiffened but quickly relaxed as the hands gently massaged her. Tara closed her eyes as the fingers kneaded the muscles in her neck and then spread out to her shoulders.  
  
"Oh...that's good. I didn't realize how tense I was," said Tara softly.  
  
The hands moved down to the area between the shoulder blades.  
  
"Oh yeah...if you're trying to make it up to me, this is a great way to start...mmm, Willow, when did you learn to do this?"  
  
"She hasn't," breathed Buffy into Tara's ear.   
  
Tara stiffened and opened her eyes.  
  
"Just thought that you needed it. That, maybe, you would even like it," whispered Buffy. She leaned over and kissed Tara on the cheek.  
  
By the time Tara turned around to face her Buffy was already in the kitchen.  
  
"Here, Tara, try one of these," said Xander, handing her two books. "But I think Giles is really reaching for the last straw on the camel's back. Even I recognize some of these books, so I doubt if we'll find anything new."  
  
Tara absently nodded and opened the first book. She stared at it for a moment or two before discovering that it was upside down. She flipped it over and noticed a book mark further back in the pages. Tara opened the book to the page that was marked. And looked at a photo of Willow and Oz.  
  
He was sitting down in a chair and she was leaning over him, a broad smile on her face and with her arms wrapped around him. Willow looked very happy. Tara slowly closed the book.  
  
"Xander, tell Ww...Willow that I w...went home. I need some sleep. I'll, I'll..."  
  
Tara stood up and quickly left.  
  
"Uh...bye?," said Xander.  
  
"That was rude," added Anya, not looking up from her book.  
  
*****  
  
"Going all Sara Moulton on me, Will?," asked Buffy as she entered the kitchen.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Cable cooking show host," informed Giles.  
  
"And when did you get cable?," asked Willow. "I thought you said television was a pacifier for the masses?"  
  
The microwave beeped and Willow removed the white plastic cup. She looked at it, wrinkled her nose and handed it to Buffy.  
  
"Excuse me, I'll...I'll be getting back to my books," said Giles, quickly leaving without looking at Buffy.  
  
"Buffy, don't be hard on him. This is really doing a number on his head," said Willow.  
  
"I know. I'll talk to him. Later."  
  
Buffy held the cup with both hands and stared at it.  
  
"This is weird. All the times I did this for Angel, it seemed so...natural. I didn't even think about it. Well, okay at first there was a Twilight Zone flashback or two. And look at me now."  
  
"Try to think of it as a milkshake. A strawberry milkshake!," suggested Willow.  
  
Buffy raised the cup to her lips and held it there. Then she set the cup back down on the counter and closed her eyes.  
  
"I can't. I'm sorry, Will, I'm just not ready yet."  
  
"Is it the smell? You think you're going to barf? 'Cause I know my stomach is considering it," said Willow.  
  
"No, that's not it. See, it actually smells good to me. And I don't know how to explain this to you so that you would understand. I'm afraid I will like it. I know I will. And that's got me a little wigged. A lot wigged, actually."  
  
Willow took the cup and put it back in the refrigerator.   
  
"It'll be there when you need it," shrugged Willow.  
  
"I'm sorry," said Buffy.  
  
"Don't be. You're holding up a hell of a lot better than I would. Why don't you go lay down now? Get some sleep. Going to need your rest if you're going to kick some vampire booty tonight. Oh, I wouldn't to be undead tonight. Not that I would ever want to be undead."  
  
Buffy frowned.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry! That was...oh, that was dumb. Dumb Willow," said Willow.  
  
"You need some sleep," smiled Buffy.  
  
"I do indeedy. You go. I'll be there in a minute," said Willow.  
  
Buffy nodded and left the kitchen. Willow put her hand up to her throat and stared in the direction Buffy had gone. It bothered her that Buffy had been looking at her neck the entire time she was talking to her. And she doubted that Buffy even knew that she was doing it. Willow exhaled slowly and walked out of the kitchen.  
  
"Tara? Hey, where's Tara?," asked Willow.  
  
"She left, Will. I think she was going home to take a nap," said Xander looking up from his book.   
  
"Wow. Why didn't she wait for me?," said Willow out loud.  
  
"Don't know. One minute she was looking at that book there, the next she was gone," explained Xander, pointing to a black leather bound book on the chair next to him.  
  
Willow picked up the book and opened it. The photograph of Oz and her fell to the floor. Xander saw it before she could pick it up and he frowned at her.  
  
"First ingredients in a vanishing spell are eye of newt and essence of old boyfriend," said Xander. "I thought that you had that issue behind you with her."  
  
"Isn't the expression dead and buried?," asked Anya.  
  
"Not in Sunnydale," replied Xander.  
  
"Oz isn't the issue," said Willow flatly, holding the photo in her hand and staring at it.  
  
Xander looked at her, not understanding what she meant.  
  
"I'll be back later," announced Willow.  
  
"Willow?," asked Xander, standing up.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Need to talk?"  
  
"No. Not yet, anyway. But thanks," smiled Willow.  
  
"Good luck."  
  
Willow nodded, slipped the photograph into her back pocket and went to find Tara.  
  
End Of Part Six  
  
PART SEVEN  
  
Willow shut the door gently behind her. She stood there for a moment, deciding what to do. Tara lay on the end of the bed, asleep. Willow smiled. She kicked her shoes off and lay down on the bed behind Tara, wrapping her arm around Tara's waist.   
  
"Willow?," mumbled Tara, groggy from sleep.  
  
"Shhh," whispered Willow. "Go back to sleep. We'll talk later."  
  
Tara nodded and put her hand over Willow's hand. Willow closed her eyes and hugged Tara, inhaling the scent of her hair. She was soon in a deep sleep.  
  
*****  
  
Willow sat upright instantly. It took her a moment to remember where she was. The phone rang again and she moaned as she glanced at the alarm clock. It was 6:30.  
  
"Hello?," said Willow as she rubbed her eyes with her free hand. Tara sat up and watched her.  
  
"Willow! Plan on stopping by any day this week?," teased Xander.  
  
"I'm sorry. I...we fell asleep. I'll be over as soon as I can. I'm going to jump in the shower quick and maybe grab something to eat. How's Buffy?"  
  
"No change. But she's awfully eager to go on patrol tonight. Cabin fever, I guess. Anya and I will go out with her first, so if we're not here, that's the plan," said Xander.  
  
"Xander, did Giles find anything in his books? To help Buffy, I mean"  
  
"No. Not yet. So, uh...you and Tara. Did you work things out yet? I didn't want to call, in case you were, well...working things out," said Xander.  
  
"Uh, no actually. Like I said, we fell asleep," said Willow, glancing at Tara. She raised her eyebrows in return.  
  
"Okay, uh, we'll catch up later."  
  
"Sure. We'll be there soon. Bye."  
  
Willow hung up the phone.  
  
"Guess we slept a little longer than I thought we would," said Willow.  
  
Tara smiled and nodded.  
  
"Tara, I..."  
  
"Willow, I'm sorry I took off like that. I was really tired and, and...I don't know. I just had to get out of there. Okay?"  
  
"Yeah. It's...okay. But we still need to talk," said Willow, leaning over to her and taking hold of her hand.  
  
"We do. But right now Buffy needs us. And I bet Giles hasn't even slept yet. So go get in the shower and I'll make us something to eat."  
  
"Tara..."  
  
Tara stood up and kissed Willow on the lips.  
  
"Go. It'll be dark soon," said Tara. Willow reluctantly nodded in agreement.  
  
*****  
  
Buffy flipped the vampire over and it landed on a tombstone, its back bending at an unnatural angle. Even Xander winced at seeing that. The creature slid off the stone, lying face down on the ground, writhing in pain. Buffy pounced on its back and gripped it by the head. She snapped the vampire's neck with a sickening crack of bone. Xander looked away as the vampire exploded into ash.  
  
"Cool," said Anya excitedly.  
  
"You like?," asked Xander, disgusted. Anya shrugged but smiled.  
  
"Oh yeah! Now this is fun!," yelled Buffy.  
  
"Buffy, look out!," warned Xander too late as another vampire tackled her. He took a step towards them, holding his cross tightly in one hand. Xander stopped, seeing that Buffy had things under control.  
  
She was sitting on top of the vampire, a female this time. Buffy held her right hand by the wrist and had the vampire's left arm pinned down under her knee. The Slayer was pounding her fist into the creature's face. And with each punch Buffy's smile grew wider.  
  
"Uh, Buffy?," said Xander. Buffy ignored him. She stood above the vampire now and began to kick it viscously in the ribs. The vampire didn't move.  
  
"Buffy!," yelled Xander.  
  
Finally Buffy stopped. She glanced over her shoulder and blew Xander a kiss. Slipping a stake out from under the back of her shirt, she fell to one knee and drove the stake into the vampire's chest. She exploded into ash.  
  
Buffy knelt there, not moving. Xander looked at Anya, who simply shrugged. Xander put his cross into his back pocket and walked over to Buffy, putting a hand on her shoulder.  
  
"Buffy? What's wrong?"  
  
"Don't. Touch. Me," answered Buffy. But Xander didn't remove his hand from her shoulder.  
  
"Hey. You okay?," he asked.  
  
Buffy spun and hit him with the back of her hand. Xander was knocked onto his butt. He touched his lower lip. It was bleeding. He looked up at Buffy and instantly knew something was wrong. Her eyes seemed to be a deeper shade of yellow. But it was her fangs that shook him the most. They were longer now and rested on her lower lip.  
  
"What's the big idea!? He was only trying to help!," complained Anya. She stood over Xander and held out her cross in anger. And Anya realized that Buffy was not afraid of the cross.  
  
Buffy stood up and grabbed the cross from Anya with her left hand. Even though the cross smoked in her hand, Buffy's face did not reveal any pain. She made a fist and the cross broke. Buffy tossed it on the ground at her feet. For a moment she looked as if she were dizzy. Xander stood up and held Anya. Buffy looked at her hand, now badly burned.  
  
Suddenly Buffy grabbed at her sides and bent over at the waist. Now her face revealed that she was in pain. She fell to one knee and looked up at Xander.  
  
"Run. While you still can," whispered Buffy. She grabbed her sides tighter and collapsed on the ground.  
  
Xander stood there, just staring at Buffy. Anya began to pull at his arm.  
  
"Xander, let's go! Now!," yelled Anya.  
  
Buffy raised her head and growled at him, the side of her face covered in dirt.  
  
"Xander!," yelled Anya.  
  
Xander grabbed Anya's arm and ran.  
  
"You know, Willow should have never bought that book!," complained Anya.  
  
"Anya, when you're up to your ass in alligators it's easy to look back and say that you should have drained the swamp. And can you run any faster? Moss is going to start growing on your north side soon!"  
  
It took all of Buffy's willpower to close her eyes and not watch them run away. The desire to kill was overwhelming. She stumbled to her feet. And she began to hunt.  
  
*****  
  
Xander and Anya stopped, both gasping for air. They had run as far and as fast as they could. Xander glanced at Anya and then looked in the direction they had come.  
  
"Anya...go to...Giles. Tell him...what happened. I'm going to follow her."  
  
"Xander, this is no time to play hero!"  
  
"I'm not leaving her! It's still Buffy...I know it is."  
  
"Xander, please!"  
  
"Just go!," yelled Xander.  
  
Anya stood there, ready to cry. Xander kissed her, hard, and then hugged her.  
  
"I'll be careful. I promise," he said.  
  
"You'd better be or I'll kill you myself," said Anya.  
  
"That's my girl," smiled Xander.  
  
Anya turned and ran. Xander sighed, pulled the cross out of his pocket and walked back towards the cemetery.  
  
*****  
  
The three vampires looked up. Someone was splashing through the water of the sewer. And coming towards them. They looked at one another. One of them shrugged and they stared back down the dark tunnel. The girl emerged from the shadows. She was smiling.  
  
"Hey, a party! Mind if I join in?," asked Buffy.  
  
They looked at her, unsure of what to do.  
  
"Are you a demon or a vampire? What's with the face?," asked the tallest of the three, a blonde male. The other two were a male and a female, both redheads. All three looked to be in their late teens when they were turned.  
  
"Yeah, and you look familiar. You...you look like the Slayer," said the girl.  
  
"You know, I'm not exactly sure myself," admitted Buffy. "But I ain't here to talk."  
  
Buffy grabbed the tallest one by the arm and twisted it behind his back. She felt it pop out of its socket as she drove his face into the wall, smashing his nose. She kneed him just above the waist before the other male pulled her off.  
  
"Oh, that was a mistake!," laughed Buffy. She hit her new foe with a left hook. His head snapped back but he stood his ground. He then grabbed Buffy in a bear hug and hit her in the face with his forehead. Buffy felt one of her ribs crack. Her arms were pinned against her sides and she was unable to free them.  
  
So Buffy did the only thing available to her. She bit into the vampire's neck, ripping into it with her teeth and fangs. His blood burned her tongue and instinct told her not to swallow it. He fell down with a splash in front of her, holding his neck with one hand. Buffy drove her foot into his groin. The vampire screamed in pain.  
  
Buffy spun and hissed at the other male. He was standing his ground, snarling at her, but one arm hung useless by his side. The female took two steps back, turned and ran. Behind her the screams of her two friends echoed in the tunnel. She ran faster.  
  
*****  
  
The door burst open and Anya stumbled into the room, tripping and falling to the floor. She startled Giles so much that he dropped the book he was holding. Willow glanced at Tara and then helped Anya to her feet.  
  
"Anya! Where's Xander? And Buffy?," asked Willow.  
  
"Giles, we have trouble," answered Anya.  
  
*****   
  
"Oh, I give up. She could be anywhere by now."  
  
Xander leaned against the brick wall behind him and looked at his watch.  
  
"Less than an hour before sunrise," he said out loud, shaking his head. Xander's cheeks puffed out as he slowly exhaled. Then he heard something, further down in the alley. It sounded like...like someone crying. He drew the cross from his back pocket and walked towards the noise.  
  
Giving the dumpster on his left a wide berth, Xander continued walking down the alley. He saw her sitting on the ground in the shadows along the wall, just past the dumpster. Her knees were drawn up and her hands covered her face.   
  
"Buffy, is that you?"  
  
The girl didn't look up. She cried even louder. Xander took another step towards her.  
  
"Xander, please...I don't want you to see me like this. Please, just...just go."  
  
"I don't care what you look like. I just want to help. We all do."  
  
"Well, you can start by putting that cross away!"  
  
"Oh! Sorry, I...sorry," said Xander, putting the cross into his back pocket. He took two more steps and knelt down besides Buffy. She wiped her eyes but wouldn't face him.  
  
"Buffy, what are you doing here? We were so worried about you."  
  
"I, I don't know. I was walking and, and I heard a noise. By the dumpster. And...and suddenly the thought of eating a rat didn't disgust me anymore! I mean, if Angel..."  
  
Buffy started crying again and covered her face with one arm. Xander leaned over to touch her shoulder and saw the dead rat on the ground next to her, its head at an odd angle to the body.  
  
"It's not...I couldn't bite into it. I...God, what's happening to me? Why is this happening?"  
  
"Buffy, let me take you home."  
  
"Home? I can't go home! Not like this," yelled Buffy, looking at Xander for the first time. He looked into her yellow, feral eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks. And he had to shut his eyes to remember that this was his friend. Opening his eyes, trying not to stare at her raised upper lip, Xander knew he had to take charge and help her.  
  
Xander simply stood up and extended his hand. Buffy closed her eyes and let him pull her to her feet. She immediately hugged him, hiding her face in his chest.  
  
"Buffy, Giles will figure this out. You know he will. That's what he does."  
  
Xander hugged her a little tighter and felt Buffy's body stiffen in response. She slowly pulled her head back and looked up at him.  
  
"You're a good friend, Xander."  
  
Xander smiled.  
  
"You...you would probably do anything for me. If I asked, I mean," smiled Buffy.  
  
"Sure," nodded Xander.   
  
Buffy brought her face closer to his and lowered her voice to a whisper.  
  
"Remember how we danced that time...in the Bronze?," asked Buffy, her voice like a breath.  
  
"Uh..."  
  
"Sure you do," said Buffy softly, running a finger down Xander's cheek, pausing near his chin and then slowly moving it down his neck.  
  
"Uh...what, what about it?," asked Xander nervously, stepping back so that his body was now pressed against the wall behind them.  
  
"Well, I never apologized. For leading you on like that, I mean. For leaving things so...unresolved," smiled Buffy, placing both hands on his shoulders.  
  
"Yeah. Uh, it...Buffy, it doesn't matter. Now, I mean. Because, because I liked it so...so it wasn't, uh...I mean, who wouldn't? You know, it's going to be light soon. We have to get you inside. Okay?," pleaded Xander.  
  
"Oh, we've got plenty of time, Xander. Plenty of time," said Buffy, no longer whispering. She pressed her hips up against him. "You wanted me then, didn't you? In fact, I was all you could think about. For a long time, if I remember."  
  
Xander's eyes opened wide as Buffy pushed him even harder against the wall.  
  
"Do you...do you still want me, Xander? 'Cause I'm suddenly finding you irresistible," said Buffy, whispering again. She ran her tongue along his neck and suddenly grabbed his head with both hands. Buffy brought her lips up to his.  
  
"Kiss me, Xander. You know you want to."  
  
"No. Buffy, this isn't you! You're not yourself. Buffy, please!"  
  
Buffy pulled Xander's head to one side, exposing his neck. She moaned and felt his body tense beneath her. He tried to struggle free but she was too strong for him.   
  
"Don't," warned Buffy, sensing that Xander was going to reach behind him for his cross. "Just because I can't see it doesn't mean I don't know you're packing. Even in your pocket I can feel it burn my skin."  
  
She grabbed his wrist, smiling, and slammed his arm up against the wall, holding it there. Buffy placed her lips on his, gently at first and then harder as her desire grew. As terrified as he was Xander found himself responding, returning her kiss. Buffy withdrew her mouth, running her tongue over his lips as she did.  
  
"Mmm, that's better," panted Buffy. "Your heart is beating faster...I can...I can hear it."  
  
She looked at him. He stared back, sweat beading on his forehead, his breath quick and loud in the silence between them.  
  
"Buffy...please don't..."  
  
Buffy put a finger over his lips.  
  
"Shh. It's me, Xander. I wouldn't hurt you. We're both anticipating something here, aren't we? Although I think you have something else in mind," she added with a smile.   
  
She withdrew her finger and kissed him again. The scent of his fear made her kiss him harder. Buffy slid her mouth down to his neck. Xander mumbled something but she no longer heard him. Her eyes rolled back into her head, shark-like, as she gently pressed her mouth against the pulse in his neck. Buffy let her mouth linger there, the heat from Xander's body intoxicating to her.  
  
Buffy pressed her teeth a little harder against him. Xander moaned but it wasn't a cry of pain. He even pulled her closer to him with his left arm. Moving in slow circles her tongue teased his skin. Xander gasped as Buffy's fangs pierced his neck, two pinpricks of pain and intense, sensual pleasure. The first drops of blood touched her tongue and burned like a strong whiskey. Buffy moaned and ground her hips hard against Xander, her right hand pulling him to her.  
  
Buffy licked Xander's throat and pulled away from him for a moment, looking up at him. Xander's eyes were wide open. Tears were running down his cheeks. Buffy stumbled backwards, both hands covering her mouth. Lowering one hand, she stared at it, her palm smeared with the blood from her lips. Glancing at Xander, Buffy shook her head, turned and ran from the alley.  
  
Xander slowly slid down the wall into a sitting position. He closed his eyes and cried, his hands balled tightly into fists.  
  
*****  
  
Buffy found the door locked. So she simply kicked it in. The room was dark but she didn't need light to see. She quickly ran into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. The bright light made her squint as she reached in and grabbed one of the white plastic cups. She brought the cup up to her lips with both hands. Buffy only hesitated for a moment as the smell of the blood overwhelmed her.   
  
Buffy drank. The blood was cold but it warmed her insides as it went down. She tipped the cup back further and some of the blood spilled over the sides and ran down her hands. She drank faster, eagerly swallowing and gulping at the liquid. Blood dripping down the sides of her face, she tossed the empty cup aside and reached for another.  
  
She closed her eyes and drank the contents of this cup even faster. Buffy never felt so alive! Her body ached for more of this drug, this intense pleasure...Buffy opened her eyes and realized that she was chewing on the cup. She clawed at it, craving more. But it was empty. She let the cup fall to the floor.  
  
Buffy found herself staring at her blood smeared hands. She leaned back against the wall and slowly slid down, sitting on the floor. She began to cry but would not touch her face with her hands. Buffy rested her face against her arm, sobbing.   
  
How long she sat there like that she did not know. When she looked up Giles was kneeling down beside her. Seeing his face made her start to cry again. She threw her arms around his neck and hid her face in his chest. Giles held her and let her cry. Buffy pulled away and looked up at him.  
  
"You're, you're not wearing your cross," whispered Buffy, her voice quivering.  
  
"No. I took it off. I trust you," said Giles, stroking her hair. "I knew it was you."  
  
"You shouldn't. You really shouldn't. Please don't," she begged.   
  
Buffy looked at his shirt and saw blood on it. She wiped her cheek with a hand and realized that she was crying tears of blood. She simply stared at her hand, lost in the horror of what she was seeing. Giles closed his hand over hers and pulled Buffy to her feet.  
  
"Buffy, your face...it, it's you again!," said Giles, putting Buffy's own hand up to her mouth. "You see?"  
  
Buffy smiled and hugged him again.  
  
"Giles, I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry to put you through this," said Buffy, fighting back tears.  
  
"Buffy. I..."  
  
"Shh. You don't have to say it," whispered Buffy, pulling back and smiling up at him. "It's alright. I understand now. Giles, are we...are we alone?"  
  
"Yes. I came back here, hoping you might come back. Buffy, I was so worried, I..."  
  
"I know. I'm sorry. Giles, there's something I have to tell you. This isn't easy for me. I mean, I've never told you this before."  
  
"What is it? Buffy, what are you trying to say?," asked Giles, concerned.  
  
Buffy couldn't make eye contact with him.  
  
"I...I haven't thought about this much. Guess I was trying not to. It's not like I didn't know. I mean, I can read!"  
  
"Buffy, what..."  
  
"Giles, let me say this. Please?," asked Buffy, looking up into his eyes. Giles nodded.  
  
"See, I know Slayers don't live much past twenty five. Comes with the job," laughed Buffy. "But I've finally admitted to myself how...how I feel. About you."  
  
"I, I don't understand," stuttered Giles.   
  
"Don't make this harder for me than it is," said Buffy, pulling him to her again. "Giles, I could die...any day, and...and I just wanted you to know."  
  
"Know? Buffy, are you..."  
  
"Giles, I'm not a child anymore. I see the way you look at me sometimes. And I understand. Giles, I feel the same way! I...I had to tell you," said Buffy, looking up at him, her eyes pleading with him to understand. "Don't say you don't feel the same way. Please, I couldn't...lie to me if you have to, but tell me you love me."  
  
"Buffy...I, uh...I..."  
  
Buffy stood up on her toes and kissed him, slipping her hand around his neck and pulling him to her lips. Giles opened his eyes in shock. But he found himself returning her kiss. Buffy kissed him harder and slid her hands down his back, pulling him against her body.  
  
"Get away from him!," screamed Xander, shoving a cross at Buffy's face. Buffy jumped away, her back against the refrigerator. She hissed and crouched down, yellow eyes glaring at Xander and her fangs bared. Blood stained saliva oozed from the corner of her mouth.  
  
"Giles, get behind me! Now!," shouted Xander.  
  
Giles stumbled backwards, almost bumping into Willow and Tara. They were both behind Xander and each held a cross in their hand.  
  
"Xander, what the hell are you doing?," demanded Giles.  
  
"That's not Buffy. Isn't it obvious?," asked Xander, not taking his eyes off Buffy nor lowering his cross. "Where's Anya?"  
  
"I'm here, Xander," yelled Anya from across the room.  
  
"Guess you'll have to find yourself a new hero, Xander. Want a piece of me, boy? You did before, back in the alley," smiled Buffy.  
  
"What? Xander!," yelled Anya.  
  
"Anya, shut up!," barked Xander.  
  
Buffy took advantage of this distraction and kicked out, catching Xander in the stomach. He fell to his knees, unable to breath. Buffy followed with her fist to his head. Xander slid across the floor, unconscious. She growled deep in her throat at the others and ran for the door. Giles grabbed Willow, holding her back.  
  
"No, Willow! Let her go," warned Giles.  
  
Giles ran to Xander's side. Willow just stood there, staring past the door into the night. Tara stood next to her and placed her arm around her as Willow began to cry.  
  
End Of Part Seven  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Default Chapter Title

PART EIGHT  
  
All disclaimers and "stuff" are in Part One.  
  
Xander opened his eyes. Giles had waved something under his nose and was still leaning over him. Anya suddenly appeared and gave him a hug.  
  
"Xander, you're alive!," cried Anya.  
  
"That's debatable," argued Xander, holding a hand to his head. "This is going to hurt in the morning. And since it is morning can I just say ouch!"  
  
"How did you know? That it wasn't Buffy, I mean," asked Willow.  
  
"Well if the sight of her kissing old guy here didn't convince you then what could I say that would make you believe me? And might I add that I'm swearing off Slayers from now on. Yep, going cold turkey. I don't care if you wrap one up and put her under my Christmas tree! I'm done with the whole lot!," complained Xander.  
  
Willow and Tara gave him a confused look.  
  
"Here, let an old man help you to your feet," said Giles, lifting Xander by the arm.  
  
"It was her eyes, wasn't it?," asked Tara.  
  
Xander didn't have to ask her what she meant. He knew.  
  
"Yeah," nodded Xander. "There's something different about them when the demon is in control. I could tell, though. Yeah, they were naked as the eyes of a clown."  
  
"Oh, Xander, that's good! You mean like that famous opera clown, painting on a happy face while all the time you only have to look at his eyes to see that he's crying on the inside. You saw right through that!," complimented Tara.  
  
"No, I just don't like clowns," shrugged Xander.  
  
"I shoulda told ya that," added Willow.  
  
"Oh," said Tara.  
  
"And speaking of see through, I think this blouse is a little more so than I first thought," said Anya.  
  
Everyone just stared at her.  
  
"Not that it's a bad thing," smiled Anya, looking down.  
  
"Anya..."  
  
"I know, Xander. It's not a good time," frowned Anya. Xander nodded in agreement.  
  
Giles lifted the lid off a wooden chest that was pushed up against a wall and began to rummage through it.  
  
"Just trying to avoid that old cliche about the mountain," whispered Anya to Xander, although the two girls could hear her.  
  
"Mountain?," ventured Xander.  
  
"Yeah, you know...just trying to keep you interested," replied Anya, suddenly looking bored with the subject.  
  
"Mountain?," repeated Xander. Anya sighed.  
  
"A woman is like the summit of a mountain. The more times a man climbs her and reaches the summit, the more he loses interest in mounting her again. He's already seen the view!," complained Anya.  
  
Xander stared at Anya, not moving.  
  
"Girl, I fear you!," whispered Willow.  
  
"Anya, there's more than one way to get to the top of the mountain," said Xander. Anya was going to say something but she stopped to think about that. And then she smiled. Willow smacked her hand into her forehead.  
  
"Uh, Giles? You planning on shooting Buffy?," asked Tara. Giles held the tranquilizer gun that he had used in the past on Oz in his hands. He was loading it with two syringes.  
  
"Drug her. This is the same stuff that I...that I used on her when she turned eighteen. Except it's more concentrated. I can't increase the dosage more than this. Any more and her body might not remember how to breathe," explained Giles.  
  
"Stuff? You used the word stuff? I thought I was the one with the concussion," said Xander.  
  
"I'm tired. Forgive me," countered Giles.  
  
"And you were keeping this stuff around for what might I ask? Her twenty-first birthday?," asked Xander.  
  
"Need I remind you that we live on the Hellmouth? One never knows what resources might come in handy. We have to find her. This thing inside her is hungry and it wants to kill," said Giles.  
  
"But it's almost daybreak. She'll be seeking cover soon," said Willow.  
  
"I hope so. But we have to be sure," replied Giles.  
  
"Okay, this is a bad thought, and I'm a bad person for even thinking it, let alone voicing it. But if Buffy turns another person, then the demon leaves her. And we have Buffy back. Right?," pouted Willow.  
  
"Yes, I believe so. But she will also be very weak. And the new vampire will be very hungry. I don't know if she'll have the strength to defend herself, never mind kill it," explained Giles.  
  
"But her Slayer strength...," began Willow. She stopped when she saw the look of despair on Giles' face.  
  
Giles didn't answer Willow. He reached into the chest again and withdrew four wooden stakes. And he held them out.  
  
"Take one, each of you."  
  
They all looked at him, not moving.  
  
"Do it!"  
  
They all reluctantly took a stake.  
  
"It won't come to that. But...let's go...go try to help her," said Giles softly.  
  
*****   
  
Buffy hadn't gone far before she sensed that she was being watched. She glanced over her shoulder but she was confident that she wasn't being followed. When she looked forward again there was a shadow, standing in the street about a block away. It didn't move as Buffy approached. And it slowly took the form of a girl.  
  
Buffy recognized her as the vampire from the sewer. The one that had run away. She stood there, hands on her hips, smiling. And then she raised her right hand, her middle finger thrust forward at Buffy. Buffy smiled. She enjoyed a challenge. The girl turned and ran. And Buffy followed.  
  
Every so often the girl would look back, as if making sure Buffy was still following her. The buildings began to thin out and Buffy soon smelled the salt air. They were near the docks down by the harbor. Buffy ran harder. She was getting aggravated that she couldn't seem to close the distance to this vampire. The girl stayed on the road that led away from the harbor. And she seemed to be tiring. Buffy smiled.  
  
Yes, Buffy was definitely getting closer. The girl suddenly seemed to realize this and she stopped running. She turned to face the Slayer. Buffy never slowed down. Not more than two strides away from her Buffy dove, tackling the girl and bringing her down hard on the ground. They rolled over once or twice and the girl lashed out blindly at Buffy, ripping the sleeve of her shirt at the elbow.   
  
Buffy punched the girl in the face once, twice, three times...and the girl didn't fight back. She was pinned down under Buffy but could move her arms if she wanted to. She didn't even try. Buffy stopped hitting her when she realized the girl was laughing.  
  
"What could possibly be funny?," demanded Buffy. "You're about to be dust!"  
  
"Look around you, Slayer. Where are you?"  
  
Buffy glanced up and then glared at the vampire. The girl was making no attempt to move so she looked up again, taking in her surroundings. They were on the side of a paved two lane road, surrounded by open fields. Buffy could hear the water from where they were but couldn't see it.  
  
"Yeah? What about it?," snapped Buffy.  
  
"Next question. What time is it?," smiled the vampire.  
  
And suddenly Buffy knew the danger she was in. In a few minutes the sun would be up. And she would be caught out in the open.  
  
"That right!," teased the girl. "No trees, no sewers, and no time to run. Surprise!," laughed the girl.  
  
"Why? You'll burn just the same as me! Why?," yelled Buffy, punching her again.  
  
"Yeah, I will. I don't know how you became one of us, but I knew what you were when I saw you. You killed my friends. And I've had some injuries that have never healed properly, so I'm in constant pain. That's why I'm not afraid to die. Only more than happy to take you out with me," answered the vampire, smiling once again. "Oh, I'm going to enjoy watching you burn."  
  
Buffy stood up and with one hand lifted the girl to her feet. There was a telephone pole behind them and it had metal prongs nailed into it to help the utility men climb it. Buffy drove the vampire against one of these prongs. The girl screamed out in pain as the metal exploded through her chest. Buffy stepped away. The girl hung there, her feet dangling about a foot off the ground. She struggled but couldn't free herself.  
  
"Doesn't matter, Slayer. I still get to watch," snarled the vampire through clenched teeth.  
  
Buffy turned and ran, hearing the vampire's laughter fade away as she did. Her legs seemed heavy. She couldn't run as fast as she wanted to. As fast as she needed to. Buffy looked back. The vampire was writhing on the pole and not from the pain of the stake. The sun was rising.  
  
And Buffy knew she had nowhere to run. There simply wasn't enough time.  
  
*****  
  
"The bum on the dock said a girl fitting Buffy's description went this way. But...where?," asked Xander, looking out at the open fields before them.  
  
"Xander, it's homeless person. Don't say bum. It might only be a bottle of gin that separates you from him," scolded Willow.  
  
Xander looked down at the clothes he was wearing.  
  
"You really don't like my taste in clothes, do you?," complained Xander.  
  
"She has a point," said Anya.  
  
Giles held a pair of binoculars up to his eyes. The rifle lay on the ground at his feet. He seemed to focus on something in the distance for a moment and then slowly lowered the glasses.   
  
"Willow, what color shirt was Buffy wearing this morning?," he asked, not looking at her.  
  
"Uh, it was light blue, with long sleeves. Why?"  
  
Giles ignored her and began to walk away. Xander shook his head, bent down and picked up the rifle. They followed Giles down the road. It wasn't a far walk.   
  
Giles knelt down and picked up the light blue torn shirt sleeve. He just held it in his hand, staring at it. Willow glanced over his shoulder and then turned and looked away.  
  
"Giles. Over here," said Xander. Giles dropped the shirt sleeve to the ground. He saw what Xander was pointing at. At the base of the telephone pole was a thin layer of ash. Something they had all seen before. Many times before.  
  
Giles sat there, not moving, not even blinking.  
  
"Giles, that's not her! Buffy isn't that stupid. She wouldn't let that happen," said Willow, pleading with him to believe her.  
  
"No. It isn't. Both the demon and Buffy have too strong of a desire to live," agreed Xander.  
  
"Perhaps Buffy didn't want to live anymore. Why would she?," whispered Giles. "Would you?," he added, turning his head so that Willow wouldn't see him cry.  
  
"She's not dead!," screamed Willow. "She, she got into a fight and, and she dusted a vampire. That's all! Hell, her shirt got ripped and you know how she feels about her clothes! She was big time pissed!"  
  
Everyone was quiet. They didn't look at Willow.  
  
"So where did she go?," asked Anya, quickly looking away from Willow's glare.  
  
Willow swallowed hard but couldn't give an answer.  
  
"Willow, you have to consider the possibility...her chances are about as good as the Chicago Cubs winning the World Series," said Xander.  
  
"What's wrong with you? Stop it! She's not dead!," said Willow, her voice not as full of conviction as a moment ago.  
  
"Sorry. You're right. No one deserves to have their chances compared to the Cubs," said Xander. "Maybe...maybe she had time to make it to the water. And then, then she could hold her breath...under water. Until she made it to the docks. The sun never gets under the docks. So that's where we should be looking. Who's with me?," asked Xander.  
  
"Giles, does Buffy...does Buffy still breathe?," asked Anya. "Does she need to?"  
  
Giles just sat there, covering his face with one hand.  
  
"Let's go," said Xander firmly. He slung the rifle over his shoulder and began to walk towards the ocean. The others followed. All but Giles. He just sat there, staring at the torn shirt sleeve lying in the dirt.  
  
*****  
  
"You meet the most interesting people on the docks of Sunnydale," commented Xander sarcastically as he walked the past the broken door and entered Giles' living room. He paused, then turned and put his fingers up to his lips to the group behind him. He nodded his head in the direction of the couch where Giles was fast asleep.  
  
Willow smiled, took a blanket off a chair and gently covered him with it. She pointed to the kitchen, indicating to the others that she wanted to talk in there.   
  
"I think Tara and I should perform the ritual of the nether-realm again. We did that when Faith was here and we were able to find Buffy. Giles probably has everything we need here, but Tara and I will double check," said Willow. "We'll perform it upstairs, in the bedroom."  
  
"What can I do?," asked Xander.  
  
"Get some sleep," said Willow. And then she noticed that Tara seemed uncomfortable or nervous.  
  
"Tara, what is it?," asked Willow.  
  
"I know we did this before, but it is very demanding being your anchor. I'd be more comfortable if I had a second, someone to fall back on," explained Tara.  
  
"You want me to sit behind you?," asked Xander seriously.  
  
"No," smiled Tara.  
  
"I'll be your second," announced Giles, suddenly standing in the doorway. "I take it you didn't find any trace of Buffy."  
  
Willow shook her head. The phone rang. Xander reached for it but first looked at Giles. He nodded.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Xander? It's me, Riley."  
  
"Riley! What a surprise!," said Xander, the worried look on his face matched by both Willow and Giles. Willow mouthed the word mother to him. "Uh, how's your mom doing?"  
  
"Great. Thanks for asking. Is Buffy there? I haven't been able to get in touch with her."  
  
"Buffy. Oh, right! Buffy. She's, uh...sleeping right now. Yeah, real tired our little Slayer is. You don't want me to wake her, do you?," asked Xander.  
  
"Uh, no. I guess not. But she's okay? Why is she sleeping so late?," asked Riley.  
  
"She's fine. Just, uh, been busy, what with the late night slaying and all," said Xander, forcing a smile. "Are you coming home soon?"  
  
"Tomorrow. Should be there by supper time."  
  
"And that would be dinner time for us city folk. I'll tell Buffy that you called."  
  
"Please do. Thanks Xander. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye."  
  
"Yeah. Bye," said Xander, hanging up the phone. Willow smiled at him.  
  
"What?," asked Xander.  
  
"You're getting better at your lying," said Willow.  
  
"That's a good, right?," asked Xander. Willow nodded.  
  
"Well then, let's get started. I believe I have everything we'll need," said Giles.  
  
*****  
  
Startled, Xander woke up. He had fallen asleep in the chair. Across from him Anya still slept, stretched out on the couch. Xander looked up at Willow. She was staring at him and by her expression he knew the news wasn't good.  
  
"You okay?," asked Xander.  
  
Willow nodded. Her forehead still glistened from the oil that had been applied for the ritual.  
  
"How did it go?," asked Xander, nervously.  
  
Willow sat down in a chair. She didn't answer Xander or look at him.  
  
"Willow! Is she dead?"  
  
"We don't know," answered Giles, walking down the stairs behind them. Tara was right behind him. "Willow couldn't find her, but that could mean that the demon is in control and blocking Willow. Or maybe Willow was just too tired to make contact."  
  
"Or maybe I just suck at this," pouted Willow.  
  
"That's not true and you know it," protested Tara.  
  
"Isn't it? Okay, my spells are getting better. But that's probably because of you! You're so much stronger than I am. It's not me at all, is it? Like I said, I suck."  
  
Tara walked over and put her hand on Willow's shoulder.  
  
"No, you don't. You are so much stronger than you know. Trust me. You have no idea," said Tara softly.  
  
"Listen to her, Willow. It takes years to develop the skills you seek. And it can be reckless to proceed too fast in these matters. It's not your fault. To borrow one of your expressions, I'd say you're one kick ass witch," smiled Giles.  
  
Willow smiled.  
  
"Thanks. So what do we do now?," asked Willow.  
  
"We wait. Until sunset," shrugged Giles.  
  
"Giles, while we're waiting...would it be alright if I took a nap on your bed? I'm really beat," said Tara.  
  
"Of course!," replied Giles.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
Tara looked at Willow but didn't say anything. She simply walked away.  
  
"Willow, I know it's none of my business, but are things okay between you and Tara?," asked Xander in a low voice as he watched Giles go in to the kitchen.  
  
"Yeah. It's just...we need to talk. About...stuff. And it's been so hectic around here we just haven't had time yet," said Willow.  
  
"So make time. Now," suggested Xander.  
  
Willow inhaled slowly and shook her head.   
  
"No. She's exhausted. Let her sleep. I'd only upset her or, or...what can I say? It won't amount to anything," sighed Willow.  
  
Xander stood up and put his hands on his hips.  
  
"Do you stand there, Katie Rosenberg O'Hara, and tell me that Tara, that girl, doesn't amount to anything? Love is the only thing in the world that amounts to anything, for 'tis the only thing in this world that lasts, and don't you be forgetting it! 'Tis the only thing worth working for, worth fighting for...worth dying for," said Xander.  
  
"Oh Xander, you talk like an Irishman!," said Willow.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"No. I was just sticking to the script," frowned Willow. "And by the way, it's land, not love, her father was talking about."  
  
"Oh," said Xander. "What's he know anyway? His side lost the war."  
  
"But thanks. For the advice and the show," smiled Willow. Xander smiled in return.  
  
Anya opened her eyes and stretched.  
  
"I miss anything?," she asked.  
  
*****  
  
The smaller raven of the three watched from a distance as his two larger brethren fed hungrily on the dead squirrel in the road. The day was coming to an end and it knew that if it was patient, the others would fly off to roost. So the smaller raven waited for dimming of the light, hoping that it could feed then. Its head was cocked to one side, its beak slightly open.  
  
First one raven and then the other stopped feeding. They twitched their heads from side to side, listening. Even the younger one sensed that something was wrong. But hunger overruled its instinct to flee. The other two stood motionless. Waiting.  
  
One raven screeched a warning and took to the air. Too late did the smaller raven react to the danger it was in. The hand reached up from beneath it, grabbing and snapping one wing. It cawed in terror and pecked viscously at the attacker, tearing flesh. More dirt was pushed aside and another hand appeared. Finally Buffy's face emerged from the pit. She pushed the raven to her mouth, snapping bone and ripping flesh with her teeth, ingesting dirt, feathers and blood all at once.  
  
Buffy tossed the lifeless bird aside and stood up. She sniffed at the air like a dog and brushed herself off. Hunger burned inside of her, like a growing hatred. She looked at her bloody and torn fingers, ravaged by digging her own grave to hide from the sun. And she looked at her dirt stained clothes. Female vanity won out over hunger. Buffy decided to take a swim.  
  
End of Part Eight  
  
PART NINE  
  
She had been following him for three or four blocks now. It was obvious that he wasn't drunk like so many of the other homeless in this neighborhood, even though he held a brown paper bag in one hand. In fact, it seemed that he knew he was being watched. He kept glancing over his shoulder and would suddenly cross the street as if trying to draw her out. Finally, he simply stood and waited.  
  
Buffy didn't hesitate. She moved out of the shadows and walked right at him. And then she smiled.  
  
"All right, who the bloody hell are you and what do you...oh, it's you."  
  
"Spike. Wow, long time no see," grinned Buffy.  
  
"Now listen here, blondie. I haven't given you any trouble since that whole Adam fiasco went down. In fact, I've been avoiding any place that the Slayerettes might happen upon. So don't be giving me a hard time now," warned Spike. "You go your way and I'll go mine," he added, turning as if to leave.  
  
"Oh, someone's cranky," teased Buffy. "Still have that old chip in you?"  
  
"You damn well know I do!," said Spike, facing her again and glaring.  
  
"Spike, relax! Why don't we let bygones be bygones. And what the hell is a bygone anyway? Oh, never mind. No sense living in the past. Right?," smiled Buffy, running her finger down his nose and stopping at his chin.  
  
"Uh, right. Of course not. Live for the now...and all that," agreed Spike, carefully watching the Slayer.  
  
"Spike, you know, you're looking a little thin. What's wrong? Rats just a little faster than you these nights?," asked Buffy.  
  
Spike gave her a disgusted look and turned to go but she grabbed him by the arm.  
  
"I'm sorry. That was rude of me. Tell you what. I'm in sort of a hurry here...but you might be able to persuade me to be...a little late," suggested Buffy, leaning over to whisper the last three words into Spike's ear.   
  
She opened the top two buttons on his shirt and ran her hands down his chest. Buffy brought her lips up to his.  
  
"What do you say, Spike? You up for it?," asked Buffy, running her tongue across his lower lip.  
  
"Oh no you don't!," snapped Spike, stepping back. "We're not going to replay that scene we had the last time we were together at the Bronze. I do have some dignity, you know!"  
  
"Huh?," said Buffy, a puzzled look on her face.  
  
"Oh, don't give me those puppy dog eyes. You know very well what I'm talking about," said Spike, looking away and acting as if his feelings had been hurt.  
  
"Besides, I've got this chip in me, remember?"  
  
Buffy smiled.   
  
"You sure it's still working? Maybe the battery ran out," said Buffy.  
  
"Battery?," repeated Spike, suddenly unsure of himself.  
  
"Feeling lucky? Let's test your...battery. Go on, hit me. You know you want to," smiled Buffy.  
  
"No!"  
  
"Spike, maybe it doesn't matter if the battery is still working," said Buffy, smiling even more and running a hand through his hair. "See, I've been doing a little soul searching lately. And you know what?," asked Buffy, once again whispering into his ear.  
  
"What?," said Spike, entranced.  
  
Buffy lowered her voice to a breath.  
  
"I have a little secret I'd like to share with you. I'm not sure I have one," said Buffy.  
  
"What? A soul? And why would..."  
  
Buffy put a finger on his lips, silencing him. She leaned forward and kissed him, gently and softly on the mouth.   
  
"Mmm...that's nice. I'm being a bad girl, aren't I...Spike? Maybe, maybe you should...spank me. You'd like that, wouldn't you?"  
  
"And why would the Slayer, killer of demons, not have a soul?," demanded Spike, growing tired of her game, although he found it impossible to stop looking at her lips.  
  
"Hmmm, how can I prove it to you? Oh! I know," said Buffy, glancing at the brown paper bag Spike held in his hand. She reached for it and accidentally brushed across his groin. He gasped. Buffy smiled.  
  
"And what do we have here?," asked Buffy, taking the bag from him and peering inside.  
  
"Hey, I spent the last of my money on that!," complained Spike.  
  
Buffy slowly pulled the white plastic cup out of the bag and removed the lid. Spike looked at her, confused and thinking that she might dump the contents out onto the ground.  
  
"Here's looking at you, kid," said Buffy, lifting the cup to her lips and tilting her head back.  
  
Spike opened his eyes wide in amazement. Buffy closed her eyes and made loud slurping noises as she gulped the still warm blood down.  
  
"That's disgusting!," cried Spike. He turned and quickly ran away. Buffy tossed the cup to the ground and laughed. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and, still laughing, watched Spike disappear into the night. It began to rain.  
  
*****  
  
The rain fell harder now. Buffy stopped, lifted her head and sniffed at the air, her nostrils flaring. The scent was unmistakable. She walked a little faster now down the dark street. And the scent grew stronger. The alley ahead of her only had a dumpster in it. Buffy splashed through the muddy puddles, her hair now clinging to the sides of her face.   
  
Something was wrong. Out of place. But she didn't have to be cautious now. Buffy was confident. And driven.   
  
The cup was on the ground behind the dumpster. She fought back the urge to grab it and drink from it. Buffy sniffed at the air again; the blood was pure, not laced with any drug. She stared at the cup, drawn to it. Raindrops disturbed its thick, smooth surface. Buffy tilted her head, listening.   
  
The dart hit her square in the back before she heard it coming. She clawed at it and knocked it to the ground, grinding it beneath her foot. And then she fell to her knees, one hand on her forehead. The drug was taking effect quickly. Buffy tried to stand, wanting to run, but she collapsed onto her side, the alley spinning around her. She closed her eyes.  
  
She lay there, motionless, for a full minute before he emerged from his hiding place. He kicked her with his foot and she fell over onto her back. Xander knelt down beside her and felt her neck for a pulse. And then Buffy opened her eyes.  
  
"Surprise!," she yelled, smiling.  
  
Buffy rolled back onto her shoulders and kicked outwards with her feet, catching Xander in the chest. He landed hard on his back, unable to breath. Buffy pounced and straddled him, holding down his right arm and grabbing his hair, pulling Xander's head to one side to expose his neck. Her body ached to bite into his flesh. She raised her head, revealing her fangs like a cobra about strike.   
  
And then Buffy was knocked to the ground, a large gash open above her left eye. Xander looked up. Giles stood above him, both hands wrapped around the gun stock like a baseball bat. Buffy growled and came at Giles but Xander managed to raise a leg and trip her. She lashed out with her hand as she fell, her fingernails slicing into Giles' cheek, drawing lines of blood. He dropped the gun and brought his hands up to his face, wincing in pain but not crying out.  
  
Buffy sprang to her feet again and kicked Giles in the groin. As his head came down she drove an elbow into his forehead. Giles hit the wall behind him and collapsed on the ground, blood trickling down from one ear. Instantly Buffy turned to face Xander. Lightning lit the sky and the rain seemed to come down harder. A moment later came the rumble of the thunder.  
  
Xander had managed to stagger up on one knee. He held out a large wooden cross in front of him with one hand. Staring into Buffy's eyes, Xander realized that the thing standing in front of him had no humanity left in it. Buffy grabbed the cross. Even as she winced from the pain she glared at Xander, not taking her yellow eyes off of him. Smoke rose from her hand. Still she held on.  
  
The cross burst into flames. Xander dropped it and backpedaled crablike away from her. But she caught him by one ankle and spun him around. When she let go Xander slid on his back and his head smashed into the dumpster with a sickening thud. He didn't move.  
  
Buffy stood up straight and screamed, the echo of her inhuman yell bouncing off the walls of the alley. She took a step towards Xander. And staggered back, snarling and grabbing at her left shoulder. A large wooden dart was imbedded in the muscle. She glanced up and saw Willow lowering a crossbow, glaring at her not thirty yards away.   
  
"Leave him alone!," screamed Willow.  
  
Buffy ripped the bloody dart from her shoulder and threw it to the ground. Lightning cracked the sky once again, immediately followed by thunder. The ground beneath their feet shook. Buffy smiled. Willow dropped the crossbow, turned and ran, grabbing Tara's hand and pulling her along.  
  
Willow could run faster than Tara but she paced herself, letting Tara stay just ahead. Their feet splashed through puddles as they ran. Every so often she would glance back over her shoulder to make sure Buffy still followed them. She knew that both Giles and Xander were helpless and Willow was trying to get Buffy as far away from them as she could.  
  
Still looking behind her, Willow realized that Buffy could easily catch them if she wanted to. This was a game for her, one meant to tire them out and to terrorize them. And then she fell. Tara heard her and stopped.  
  
"No! Keep going!," yelled Willow, getting to her feet.  
  
Tara didn't hesitate. She turned and ran. Willow looked back and lightning once again lit up the sky. Not far away was Buffy, walking fast but calmly towards her. Willow ran.  
  
Tara stopped in front of a door and tried to open it but it was locked. She pounded on the door with her fists. She looked back to make sure Willow saw her as she turned a corner and made her way down another alley. There was one more door here but it too was locked. Tara desperately searched the alley. They could keep running or they could climb a fire escape ladder to the roof. Willow caught up with her.  
  
"Willow, we can't keep running. I can't," added Tara, out of breath. Willow nodded.  
  
"The door," panted Willow. "Open it. I'll hold her off to give you time."  
  
Tara nodded and faced the door. Willow caught a few words of her incantation as she walked away from her, towards Buffy.   
  
"Deny me not, this barricade be broken...let me pass, my desire is spoken..."  
  
Willow didn't even blink as lightning flashed again. She knew what she had to do. What startled her was how close Buffy already was to them. Or what once was Buffy. Tara's voice seemed distant now. Willow didn't listen anymore.  
  
It stood just ten feet away. Smiling. Willow held up a cross between them, her hand trembling. The rain plastered her hair against her face, hiding her tears.  
  
"Willow, please! You're hurting me. It's me...Buffy."  
  
"You're...not...Buffy!"  
  
Willow held the cross more steady now, stronger in her resolve.  
  
"Yes, I am! I...it's not my fault, Will! Please, believe me. Do you think that I could ever hurt you? Do you? I won't let it...I promise," said Buffy, taking a step towards her. Willow lowered the cross ever so slightly, as if her arm were getting tired.  
  
"Willow, let's get out of the rain. You must be freezing. Okay?," asked Buffy, holding out her hand. She took another step towards Willow.  
  
"Buffy?," whispered Willow.  
  
"Yes. It's me, Will. Really. Please, just...just trust me," begged Buffy.  
  
"Willow, the door's open!," yelled Tara.  
  
Buffy took another step towards Willow. And then another bolt of lightning exploded and Willow saw Buffy's eyes. And she knew. She knew the thing standing before her had no soul. She raised the cross again just as the vampire took another step forward.  
  
"Go to hell!," screamed Willow.  
  
Buffy turned her head and hissed, eyes focused on Willow. Willow felt Tara's arm pulling her and they ran back to the door, slamming it shut behind them. Tara slid a bolt over to lock it. They both sat with their backs to the door. Willow began to cry. She put her head in her hands and began to sob. Tara put her arm around her and pulled her close. They both jumped when the vampire kicked against the door.  
  
"Willow, she can break down this door. The bolt is the only thing between us and her! We need to seal the door. Do you know the spell? To block the undead, I mean?," asked Tara, holding up Willow's face so that she would look at her.  
  
Willow nodded, trying not to cry. She wiped her eyes. Buffy kicked against the door again, bending the hinges.  
  
"Good. I can do it, but it'll be quicker and stronger if you help me," said Tara, standing to face the door. She helped Willow to her feet. Tara slipped the fingers of her left hand into the fingers of Willow's right hand.  
  
"No longer living but still roaming the night, soulless being, uninvited," began Tara. Buffy kicked at the door again, loosening the screws that held the hinges in place.  
  
"Willow, repeat the words. Hurry!"  
  
"No longer living...but still roaming the night...soulless being...," stammered Willow. She began to cry again.  
  
"I'm, I'm sorry...I can't...I can't...oh God, Buffy!," cried Willow, falling to her knees, sobbing. Tara fought the urge to hold and comfort her.  
  
"Willow, it's okay. I can do it."  
  
Tara faced the door again and began the incantation.  
  
"Null laenger lebend aber still wandernd die nacht, seelenlos dasein ungeladen..."  
  
Willow fell to her side and brought her knees up to her chest. Every time Buffy kicked the door she jumped and whimpered. She covered her ears with her hands and pressed her face against the cold floor. Soon it was quiet. Tara was no longer chanting. The only sound was the rain on the roof and Willow's muffled sobs.  
  
Tara knelt down beside Willow, grabbing her and lifting her up to hold her against her chest.  
  
"Willow, she's gone now. She knows she can't come in. Don't cry, it's okay now. It's okay," soothed Tara, holding her tightly.  
  
"No, it's not okay. It's not!," protested Willow. She threw her arms around Tara and hugged her, no longer able to talk.   
  
Tara held her, stroked her hair and let Willow cry.  
  
*****  
  
The storm was moving off but lightning still lit up the night. Just down the street from Buffy a large branch snapped off of a tree, taking down a power line with it. She watched, fascinated, as the wires danced and sparked. And then the scent came to her again.   
  
They were silhouetted by the sparks from the downed power lines. He was slightly taller than her and he held her tightly in his arms, his mouth on her neck.  
  
There was nothing for Buffy to surrender to. There was no understanding, no reasoning, no conscience. The basic needs of the animal drove her to them. The rain was falling softer now. She ran faster, splashing through puddles.  
  
He wasn't done feeding on her yet but sensed the approaching danger and let her fall to the ground. The vampire crouched down, meeting the eyes of the Slayer. He wasn't afraid. Either was Buffy. Instinct, not pride, made him defend his kill.  
  
Buffy ran right at him, her training forgotten. She threw her shoulder into his midsection and knocked him from his feet. She was on top of him instantly, clawing and scratching at him, even biting an arm or a shoulder when she could. The vampire tried to punch her but Buffy was too close for him to extend his arms. Finally he pushed her off and they sprung to their feet.  
  
They began to circle one another, hands out, snarling and growling. And now fear did set in. This vampire hadn't faced an opponent like this before, one seized by such rage. Buffy sensed his hesitation and knew she was winning the fight.  
  
She came at him, faking a punch to his stomach and driving her fist into his face. She tried to hit him again but he caught her wrist and twisted her arm. With his other hand he pounded against her left shoulder, his hand red with blood from the wound that Willow had inflicted on her. Buffy screamed in pain and kicked him in the knee. His grip loosened and she broke free.  
  
Once again they began to circle one another. And then the vampire decided that he had had enough. It simply turned and ran. Buffy took two steps after it and then stopped, holding her shoulder as she watched it run away.  
  
The girl was only sixteen or seventeen years old. Buffy knew that she was still alive, could sense her heartbeat. And she also knew that, in a few minutes, this girl would be dead. She had lost too much blood. Buffy knelt down beside her, staring at the wound on her neck. The rain washed away the blood trickling from her torn throat as quickly as it seeped out.   
  
Buffy gently moved the wet hair off the girl's face. She lowered her mouth and sniffed the wound, the blood scent arousing something deep within her, a need so simple, so primal...  
  
And suddenly Buffy was dizzy, so lightheaded that she lost her balance and fell on her side, propped up on one elbow. She lay down on her back, both hands gripping the sides of her forehead as the night spun violently around her. She fought off the urge to throw up. And then it was over.  
  
Buffy opened her eyes and the girl next to her slowly came into focus. And she realized that she was in control again. The demon was still with her; she could feel its presence and suddenly understood what was happening.   
  
"No," said Buffy so softly she wasn't even sure she had spoken. She sat up, shaking her head.  
  
"No!," she screamed, scrambling away from the girl.   
  
Buffy knew. She understood. It was part of the curse. If she didn't kill this girl, turn her into one of the undead, then the demon would just go on killing. How many more would die before Buffy accepted her fate and gave in to the demon's will? Buffy was in control now. And she could feel the demon inside of her laughing.  
  
There wasn't much time left to decide. Buffy began to cry. Her body shook, trembling with both revulsion and the sobs that were overtaking her. She crawled over to the girl on her hands and knees and touched her pale face. This girl would die no matter what Buffy did.  
  
"Please...forgive me," begged Buffy, crying even harder now.   
  
She tilted the girls head to one side, more so that she wouldn't have to see her face than to expose her neck. Buffy was in control but the hunger was still there. She could feel the need, the aching inside of her that demanded she tear into this girl's flesh. Buffy never felt so alone. She closed her eyes, still sobbing, and placed her mouth on the girl's neck, just above the other bite mark   
  
Buffy gasped as her fangs pierced the muscle and the first drops of blood touched her tongue. It was beyond her control now. She couldn't stop even if she wanted to. But she didn't want to stop. The blood was hot as she swallowed it, burning her throat but warming her insides. She pressed her mouth harder against the flesh, drunk with the feeling of power over this girl, ripping deeper into her neck as she sucked harder. Buffy moaned as the girl's heartbeat pounded in her ears.  
  
She pulled away, sensing that this girl's life was ending. Buffy's mouth was open and blood dripped down from her lips, covering her chin. Slowly she opened the top three buttons of her blouse. Just above her right breast she drove her fingernails into her skin, tearing the flesh. She put her bloody fingers to the girl's mouth, scratching them against her tongue. Then she pulled the girl to her, forcing her mouth against Buffy's chest.  
  
At first nothing happened. And then Buffy felt the girl sucking at the torn flesh. Buffy pressed the back of her head harder against her and closed her eyes, caught up in the incredible pleasure of the moment. The feeling gripped her body and she moaned in ecstasy. She was getting lightheaded again. The girl was feeding furiously now. She reached her arm around Buffy's back and pulled the Slayer to her.  
  
Buffy tried to push the girl away but she held on tightly. With a hard shove she pried the girl from her. They both fell onto their backs, neither moving. Buffy's eyesight was blurry. She tried to raise her head off the cold pavement but the effort was too much for her. She was cold. And she was afraid. It took a moment or two for her to realize why. The demon was gone! It was in the girl! The girl who was even now rising to her feet.   
  
Buffy tried to move but didn't have the strength to even crawl away. And suddenly the girl was standing over her, staring down at Buffy. Her eyes were a deep yellow. She smiled, exposing her fangs. Buffy's eyes opened wide in horror. The girl threw her head back and laughed.  
  
Buffy willed her body to respond. Mustering up what strength she could, she rolled back onto her shoulders and kicked. The girl looked down in surprise as Buffy's feet connected with her ribs. There wasn't much force behind the blow but it knocked the girl off balance. She fell backwards. Right onto the still sparking electrical wires.  
  
The girl screamed but it wasn't her voice. It was a deep, guttural moan of pain. Her body twitched in pain and soon her clothes caught fire. Suddenly she stopped moving. Her body exploded into ash with the sound of a rushing wind. And then it was quiet.   
  
Buffy closed her eyes and let the blackness overtake her.  
  
*****  
  
He emerged from the shadows and cautiously approached her. He paused, then knelt down beside her, extending his hand to touch her face but afraid she might awaken. Buffy's chest rose and fell as if she was peacefully sleeping. But he knew otherwise. He brushed her wet hair out of her eyes.  
  
"Bloody hell," he muttered, placing one arm under her knees and his other arm under her arms. As gently as he could he lifted her and carried her home.  
  
End of Part Nine  
  
PART TEN  
  
Buffy opened her eyes. This place looked familiar to her. Yes, it was Giles' room. She was in his bed. That thought bothered her for a moment. She rolled her head to the side and saw Riley smiling back at her!  
  
"Riley!," Buffy tried to say but her mouth was too dry. She sat up and immediately felt dizzy. Riley got up from his chair and helped her sit up.  
  
"Buffy! You're finally awake! How do you feel?," he asked, kissing her and then giving her a hug. He tried to pull away but Buffy held on to him. Finally she let him go.  
  
"Like a truck hit me. And then it backed up over me again to see what it hit. Ew, morning breath. Oh! Me, not you!," said Buffy. Riley just smiled.  
  
Buffy touched her forehead and felt a bandage above her left eye. Her left shoulder was sore and she knew that too was bandaged. And it was hard for her to take a deep breath because of the pain in her ribs.  
  
"So...you know what happened?," asked Buffy sheepishly. Riley nodded.  
  
"Yeah. I'm sorry I wasn't here for you," he said.  
  
"Oh my God! Giles! How is Giles? Where is Giles?," added Buffy, once again looking at his bed.  
  
"He's fine. Should be home in a day or two," said Riley.  
  
"Home?"  
  
"From the hospital. He had a nasty concussion," explained Riley.  
  
Buffy slowly put her hand up to her mouth.  
  
"And Xander?," she asked, afraid of the answer she would get.  
  
"Not too bad. He's home. Anya's with him, helping him to recuperate."  
  
"Poor Xander. Anya probably won't let him out of bed for a week," said Buffy, only half serious.  
  
"Hey! Aren't you worried about me?," asked Willow, suddenly standing in the doorway. Buffy didn't say anything. She simply smiled and held open her arms. Willow ran to her and hugged her. Buffy winced but Willow didn't notice.  
  
"Will, I thought of you first. It's just...well, I didn't remember hurting you. Not like the others. I didn't, did I?," asked Buffy, suddenly concerned.   
  
"Well, not in the punching, hitting, clawing or biting sense of the word," pouted Willow. Buffy frowned so Willow changed the subject.  
  
"So...you remember? Everything?," asked Willow.  
  
Buffy sadly nodded and looked away.  
  
"Yeah. Everything," said Buffy.  
  
"Oh, sorry about the shoulder!," said Willow.  
  
"Yeah, since when did you become Annie Oakley with the crossbow?," smiled Buffy.  
  
"Well...to be honest, I was aiming at your leg. Figured you couldn't chase me, ya know?," said Willow.  
  
Buffy burst out laughing but then grabbed at her side. Willow smiled.  
  
"Don't make me laugh, okay?," asked Buffy. Willow nodded, still smiling.  
  
"Uh, Will?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Who got me into these PJs?," asked Buffy.  
  
"I did," said Willow, shaking her head. "And don't worry, no one will see the photos I took."  
  
Buffy opened her eyes wide.  
  
"Just kidding!," reassured Willow.  
  
"Okay. Next question. What day is it? It's dark out, right?," asked Buffy.  
  
"You slept all day. It's Sunday night," explained Riley.  
  
"Wow."  
  
"You know, Tara and I might have had a little to do with that," said Willow, pointing at the floor next to the bed. Buffy leaned over and saw several symbols and designs drawn in different colored chalk on the floor, along with what looked like melted wax.  
  
"We did a healing spell or two. That might have made you a little extra sleepy," said Willow.  
  
"Thanks," smiled Buffy. "And how is Tara?"  
  
"Okay. And now that I know you're up, I'm going over there. To...talk. And stuff," smiled Willow.  
  
"Good. A word of advice? Less talk, more stuff," grinned Buffy. Willow smiled in return.  
  
"Your party! Did you..."  
  
Willow shook her head.  
  
"There's not going to be a party. Not for a while, anyway," said Willow.  
  
"Is that a good?," asked Buffy.  
  
"For me it is," shrugged Willow. "It comes under the talk category, not the stuff category, if you know what I mean."  
  
"As long as you're happy," said Buffy. "Uh, both happy, I mean."  
  
"We're okay. Really. Thanks," said Willow.  
  
"Alright, next question," announced Buffy, looking at Riley. "Oh, wait! First, how's your mom? I'm sorry."  
  
"She's fine. In better shape than you right now, I might add," said Riley, squeezing Buffy's hand.  
  
"I'm glad. So, how did I get here? I don't remember much after...well, after..."  
  
"It's okay, Buffy. We figured out what happened," said Willow.  
  
"How?"  
  
Willow took a folded piece of paper out of her pocket and handed it to her. Buffy opened it up and read.  
  
"You owe me, Blondie. Think of the fun I could have had. Consider this a peace offering. And not to repeat myself...okay, I guess I will...at the very least, you owe me one!"  
  
Buffy stared at the letter.  
  
"You have got to be kidding me! Spike!," said Buffy.  
  
"Yep. 'Fraid so. He called on the phone before. He watched the whole thing. That's how we knew. And he said something about me running to the butcher shop for him but I said something about a bad connection and hung up," shrugged Willow.  
  
"We haven't heard the last from him," sighed Buffy.  
  
Willow put a hand on Buffy's shoulder.  
  
"The important thing is that it's over. It's finally over," repeated Willow.  
  
"Yeah. It is," agreed Buffy.  
  
"It must have been horrible for you, though. I mean, you had to watch, helpless to do anything, even look away, as that...thing turned that poor girl into a vampire. I can't imagine what that must have been like," said Willow.  
  
Buffy looked down, afraid to look at Willow.  
  
"You have no idea," said Buffy. "I, I think that even with all that I went through, that's going to haunt me the most. For a long time."  
  
"But Buffy, it wasn't you! I know that doesn't help, but you have to hold on to that," said Willow. "You're not responsible!"  
  
Buffy slowly nodded but couldn't look at Willow. Riley didn't know what to say.  
  
*****  
  
They both sat on opposite ends of the bed. Willow had her legs crossed under her, Tara sat with her legs off the side of the bed.   
  
"Well, we've been avoiding this long enough, don't ya think?," began Willow. Tara nodded. "So...when did you learn to speak German?"  
  
"What? Oh! The spell. Well, I was nervous and I wasn't sure if I'd remember the Latin correctly and, and...and there's lots of things you don't know about me yet!," smiled Tara.   
  
"Really?," smiled Willow. Her face became more serious. "Tara, I..."  
  
"No. Let me go first."  
  
Willow nodded.  
  
"I'm sorry. About the whole party thing. I don't know why I thought it was so important. I, I shouldn't have pushed. And the thing is...I don't know why I did. If you're not completely comfortable with it, that's all I should have needed to hear. I wasn't listening. You were agreeing, but deep down, I knew. I know you're not embarrassed to be with me. That was never an issue! The hell with what other people think! Anyway, I'm sorry. I really am," said Tara.  
  
"Sorry? You have nothing to be sorry about! Okay, maybe I wasn't ready for this party. I should've been honest with you. But the thing was, I wasn't sure how I felt about it. And if it was going to make you happy...and as far as that whole Jonathan incident...wow, where do I start? I freaked! I'm the one who's sorry for that. Tara, I would never do anything to hurt you! But I did," said Willow.  
  
They sat in silence for a few minutes, occasionally looking up at one another. Then Willow smiled and got up off the bed. She got a CD out and put it on the stereo.  
  
"I heard this the other day. And I thought of you," said Willow.  
  
"I don't need to hear a song to think of you," countered Tara.  
  
Willow smiled and held out her hand. Tara gave her a puzzled look.  
  
"Dance with me," said Willow.  
  
Tara smiled and stood up. The music started softly, with just a guitar and bass playing a slow blues song. A piano joined in. They wrapped their arms around one another, Willow with her head resting on Tara's chest, Tara with her head on Willow's shoulder.  
  
"Oh by loving you, loving you my darling,  
oh you've become much more than a lover to me,  
yes you are my companion, oh you're my friend,  
and baby you know you're a part of me..."  
  
"Oh and that's why, why I'm so lonely, oh I'm so lonely, these passing days,  
because I miss you my darling, not just one, but in so many ways..."  
  
Willow held Tara just a little tighter.  
  
"Oh it's nothing left, nothing left inside of me,  
oh that loves you any less than before,  
oh and if you want to know the truth, if you really, really want to know the truth baby,  
you know I want you and need you even more..."  
  
"Oh what's done is done baby, so I've been told,  
oh but I can't stop loving you, seems like I love you more,  
and I'll keep on loving you, baby, until, mmm, until I'm dead and cold..."  
  
"Oh, nice visual, girlfriend!," giggled Tara.  
  
"Shut up and hold me," replied Willow.  
  
The song played on, growing louder.  
  
"I missed you," whispered Willow, not looking up.  
  
"I missed you more," answered Tara.  
  
They held each other a little tighter, slowly dancing, even long after the song had ended.  
  
*****  
  
Xander had told Buffy about this place. How when he and Willow were ten or eleven they would come down here to the corner drug store and sneak around back after dark. Willow had been scared but Xander talked her into doing it. And Buffy thought of them, so long ago, shimmying up this drainpipe and climbing up onto the roof of the store. She was a little jealous of the friendship they had together for so long.  
  
Buffy walked to the edge of the roof, imagining how high up this must have looked to them at their age. She swatted a mosquito that had landed on her arm. Another bloodsucker meets his end, thought Buffy, smiling.  
  
It would be light soon. Even now, in the darkness, the birds were calling out to one another. Buffy closed her eyes and listened to the early morning sounds. A gentle breeze blew against her face. When she opened her eyes again the first hints of pink and blue were highlighting the clouds.  
  
Buffy closed her eyes again. The rising sun touched her face, its warmth making her smile. The tears came as she knew they would. It didn't matter. The sun was warm on her skin. She opened her eyes, crying even harder as she watched the rising sun. But she was smiling.  
  
The End  
  
Author's Note - I'd like to acknowledge the King of the Blues, Mr. B.B. King. His song, "Until I'm Dead And Gone", was what Tara and Willow were listening and dancing to. Special thanks to Wildfire, my beta-reader. And a very special thanks to my friend JosephB, both for his support, his feedback and his input. In his fic "A Tale Of Slayers", he first came up with the idea of a Slayer vampire and what she would look like. The most prominent features were lack of a ridged forehead, common to vampires in Joss Whedon's universe, and slightly longer fangs. The death of his Slayer vampire closely resembled the death of the vampire in the beginning of my story, something I had totally forgotten about until I reread JosephB's fic. Dude, we think alike! Yeah, it's similar to the death of the Master, but hey, give us some creative credit! You should read his story if you liked this one. Even if you didn't like this one check it out!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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